Word Up

Yesterday we had some decent strength pain killers, the offensively small amount diazepam we fought long and hard and were subjected to all kinds of blatant and subtle slaver talk from GPs to get, got more weed and a bottle of vino as well and wrote most of this. We know there was talk back in Dundee in particular about us slowly starting to engage our brain again. Usually the people who enourage us in this are trained in the procedures involved in the taking the intellectual property, creativity and memory of rich minded slaves so they can throw away the good stuff then hack up anything low brow, remove any diversity and empathy and hand it out to the meat muppets with tax codes and the allowed allowed to be on TV faces.

Need the drugs to properly remember and feel, to know we are real, know love is real and to get past all the slaver systems who have tortured us and threatened us into feeling and knowing very little and to share nothing. Need the drugs, the comfort, the lack of anxiety get any real break from Western Satanism, need them to remember how it felt to make a positive difference and be with people who wanted to help and not use us.

Since we are thinking about tunnels and drugs we have to give a big shout out, big tonne of love and a little bit of wot the fuck bro to Al as their main power currently is hegemony and their is a fair amount of evidence to say me and my isolation and my DID are very important to said Satanic slaver hegemony and pretty much everything physical that in the past they could use to control us is gone and can never be repeated and yet still no fucker has even texted us. For fuck sake.. The lass we get weed from has started hugging us every time we see her.. but at least the social worker is saying she is on the way out. I know man you gotta lead but you don't all need to bloody lead and we can give everyone much better support if not on our own in fucking Fife with a pubescent male child that has more money on his head than they have put on ours.

The whole Railroad brief/mission didn't not end with everyone done their living utopian paradises while I am trapped on the surface cause they have rigged Inverness and others not just to my stress levels, we did that they have rigged them to us going off if we go home.. like going back underground, like getting of Earth and no doubt if we are get too happy.. There will of course be folks attempting to deal with this but they are gonna get in touch once its done and they haven't yet.

People also have to get out because there is quite serious damage caused by everything beneath the surface that could be easily fixed if the surface wasn't all covered in flesh bots and people weren't all living underground in such ridiculous numbers and so used to the freedom and peace down there and utterly useless when it comes to physically fighting biological dissociated hoards of rapists and slaughterers with shit in their heads that will take us down if triggered. We  would try and explain that we had been through and were still in hell to get the knowledge and experience that we put into books that were usually impossible to give to people above ground and that after everything we had done and had been done to us we would not be fit to make a surface fit for cultures like themselves without massive amounts of support that would not becoming because of the programming. It was horrid when eyes glaced over when we talked about all that. The best we would get was something along the lines of that stuff being the reason they were there. We found so much underground horrific and wonderful and it isn't always obvious which is which.

We came across a small community once when we had been tunnel cleaning so long we were completely dissociated with exhaustion, horror and trigger tech. Big space, lots of light, homes and cooking spaces cut into rock. Think we would of cried if we were not completely dydrated. We watched as some got water from a well but we still couldnt drink it until we saw some of them drink it first. We knew we had to drink it anyway or we would die. After the first few sips we slumped to the ground and hated ourself because we there was a couple of tears instantly when we needed the water not the tears, we stopped ourself from licking them up along whatever our face was caked in and drank more actual water then asked for more. They stood around not sure what to feel or what to project to us until the water revieved us and talk turned to food but that wasn't an option until we were cleaned up a bit we had food stuff and weren't starving we had just ran out of water.

They seem genuinely shocked at the state we were in and some asked if we were a child and if our parents knew and we had to explain the whole thing about preparations for war to permanently remove the power of Satanic slavery and all it's sources from the surface and the undergrouds some looked alive, their eyes shinning and bodies expanding while others looked increasingly greenish. She may even of said something about her and me being female and war not "our" job which was pretty incredulous but we just said we would have to talk to her about that at another time but at the moment we would have to figure out ways of scrapping the worst of it of, getting the armor of with as minimal damage to it and myself as possible.

We could feel their relief when we showed our trust in them by asking for help in getting cleaned up. She was persuaded to bugger off at that point by some of the men and we asked a kindly old dude type if there was any women who were not.. and motioned to her and her attempt at strutting off in disgust and he didn't let us finish just put his hand on my shoulder made noise that sounded like he understood and walked of we hoped to find some women with intact brains. We sighed as he left and said to him and people who were all or mostly men with one or two women behind them that this would probably be a many person job.

The old guy came back when with another women probably a little older than the other and our heart sank, full on plummeted. These fuckers were cutters and we couldnt not know it. We wished we had at least waited until we got some help before realising. It was more awful than we thought it would be. They wait until you are asleep before anything happens so nothing happened but to be so physically close to them as they scrapped, peeled, soaked and worked of the layers of filth and filth soaked fabrics.

The first bath they led me to was amazing, huge and cut into the floor and built up with same stone. We are trying to remember the colour but have gone from it being darkish and reddish to pale and greyish.  Either way it was beautifully crafted and stunningly light and we did not want to pollute is with the filth we were deeply covered in. We asked if they had some kind of hose, they did not. There was discussions to about if the clothes should be cut off but when we explained they were quite fancy and very much designed for us to be cleaning tunnels. We were impressed when we got down the against the skin level and saw the dude had been right nothing had gotten through it we were all pink and clean underneath.

Some seemed a little surprised and some suspicious to find us so white underneath it all and there was laughter then to, again especially from the men some of whom talked about already knowing I was white. The longer we spent close to the women the more we felt terrified and physically ill. We were glad we had enough experience up top to know it wasn't that the men had not been cut and tortured just that the damage was less early and less severe. We also knew that most set ups like this where they seemed so openly civilsed and welcoming had some of the most disturbing and ancient horrific practices going behind the facade. I don't think we saw anyone under their mid teens and they had a distance in their eyes and painful awkwardness in their bodies that made me look away quickly.

The women discovered our hair and wanted talked of saving it and were not really listening to us when we said it would take too long, it was nothing but a hassle and just cut it as short as they could. We noticed one of the men head out of the smaller bath room before and hoped he was doing what we needed someone to do and that was get something sharp and hack it off,  he literally waded in to the filthy water do the job. We were seeing enough already to make sure not to look at whatever it was he used but we couldn't help but laugh at the liberation of having the sodden matted filth that had become our hair that we never really want even when it's all shinny and naturally straight. We didn't forget our self for long though. They were pulling tricks the surface Scots had given up on years ago still we knew we could not let our guard down especially as we were naked, with their horrible heads all around us and our armor being scrubed by an old women, our stuff out of reach and with some of the most deadest eyes we have ever seen and we have seen the Scots marching to their Satanic lords between it and us.

The worst triggers were when we saw the patches of gore and filth and the foot prints between them as we had worked together in different areas to clean us up. They knew nothing about what is was like up here, especially back then. We remembered being with someone when we were littler who had passed through with us and made a brief barter with them and we got some hot food, he never took his eyes of them as they cooked and spoke as roughly as I had ever seem him. When we left through the door to the next tunnels he said we must never come there alone, never eat anything they offered and never ever sleep there when we were in the night gown type thing they gave us with our armour layers drying by a fire. We had manage not to eat much, or possibly anything at all that they offered. We said we had a sensitive stomach and did actually have something we could eat in our rucksuck if it was okay if we used the fire. They smiled wonderfully to my face but we could feel the sicking rage building as they watched as eat.

We rested as best we could but it wasn't easy they had mattress type things and we were used to grabbing sleep on stone and dirt and we couldn't escape the dread that these people were quietly waiting for us to fall asleep and then we would be reminded of what was going on behind the facade and what they were doing to the kids.

We knew we could manage to get through the first night without properly sleeping much but would be bound to drop off when they got up and it felt safer and if eventually slept after this time they might not even need to drug us. We sighed out out loud and sniffed and wiped back a tear when we heard the women discuss what combination of drugs should be used and what procedures and tortures to use first and in what order the next day and we started to get up and looked at the still sodden armor and how it was going to cold and dark and filled with god knows what and some of the men didn't have to work to hard to convince us to stay a little while at least until the armour was drier and we could help ourself to their supplies in the meantime.

The men watched us and we watched the men when we attempted to rest and eat the next day until a friendly enough in a situation like that turned up and could watch me while I slept and had more non suspect food. Never just sleeping with us though is it? Always been massive issue but down there they had no idea what they were up against so we got a couple of days defrag and laid down some lovely awful tracks to make taking as many of them out as quickly and easy as possible. There was the super evil women they were more programmed with deeper levels and wouldn't fall for that and we were not sure about the men so we used the time then and after to find out as much as we could knowing it would be top level vomit inducing stuff.

We had seen it in Britain and pretty much anywhere near an ancient tunnel, when community was obviously lost and the women all cut and the men seem like they might be ok and like that whole thing was being done to them, it's all shit, it's the facade and once you get behind it you find communities of men who annihilated instantly any sign of life, resistance, hope, identity, healing, creativity in everything humanoid and female. The were endlessly practicing on animals to.

We knew we could do it all, expect the main patriach and his surrogtes basically because they had shit in their heads that if we shot at them diretly or attempted a lethal move that thing would take us out. We were getting worried, they should be here by now, they are late, stay calm focus if they don't we will figure something out but as we lost more an more possible ways out and was becoming increasingly cornered we were getting increasingly concerned. They did indeed turn up just and like exactly just in time and we came quite close to taking them all out. These were American pricks we knew what "just in time" meant, it meant they were watching and pushing us for their own ends and doing everything they can to keep us pernamently stressed rundown and overworked.

We weren't interested in their bull and told them it wasn't just "their" support that would be watching ours would be to and would be making sure the autopsyies, all of them were performed correctly and professionaly then got the fuck out of there with out bothering to clean ourself up there was no way we were taking of any layers surronded by young privilaged American males. It was only one job thick anyway, not like we had been working for months alone and without enough water to drink nevermind wash.

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