Knees
Had to take a picture before christening the table cloth with spag bol. It was dark by the time we had made the tea but we did sit there for a little while before just looking out at the sky, the spires and a dude with a dog for a bit before. Now we can eat meals sitting at the table like the fucking civilised people we are. Should get some lovely sunsets to will be cool sitting there and looking out at them, drinking wine, not smoking. Maybe writing, drawing. We did allow ourself one smoke after tea at the table though as a reward for ordering and building the table and chairs. It definitely leads to smoking less when it involves discomfort and we want to continue that as well as respecting the landlord's wishes.
Issues with our knees when building it though. Once when building the table and at least once maybe twice when putting together the chairs yesterday our a knee did that sudden extreme pain thing that I think is the knee cap slipping. Think it might be happening to both knees to. Our left today and its still a bit achy hours later. There was a weird watery feeling after that was a bit disconcerting. Put the support tube on it after but don't think its much use, too thin and not very comfortable.
Bugging. Would probably help them if we lost some of the comfort calories weight we binged on since loosing cannabis supply and trying to save for the move. Cheap snack shops close when skint, exhausted or miserable, Christmas feeling eating have added on more as well. Not managing to get the motivation up to walk and telling ourself we need to try harder just doesn't help much it just adds guilt to weigh us down even further.
More fabric bunting came today and that cheered us up a bit and will keep doing so when we managed to put it up to. T-shirts that actually fit as well, we need bigger jeans and bras too though and that's not really possible cash wise. Stupid DWP sent a letter saying they will be taking 160 a month of us for the budgeting loan and we are going to have to contact them about that because that's impossible. Universal credit is already taking 80 and isn't giving us full rent or anything extra for being fucking crippled. Cunts. We will have to write because we can't handle phoning.
Don't know if there is much point in mentioning the knees to the GP, the mental health has to come first in case there is a chance we can get a supportive CPN. Not getting much triggers over it. Except being tied or strapped up in an up right position in Skene and maybe other places too now that we think about it. There's quiet a few people in the room, adults in their late twenties and thirties mostly, police, military, intelligence types mostly they are not getting anything from us. We have just lost a loved one/s and all our hope, we can't even hear what they are saying or feel the torture. And also working on something big and mechanical that required us to be on our knees a lot. We had supports but we didn't always remember to out them on and they didn't stop it completely when we did. We were still with hope or faith but were also driven and extremely committed to whatever we were building. Think we intentionally messed up so we could be down there working on it for longer and not be elsewhere or near people.
Whatever it was, it was a lot more complex than our table and chairs.
