Unsupported EMDR
I know its not going help with the nightmares in the short term but they are leaving us too depressed, anxious and weak to do anything anyway. It does make us feel a bit different quite quickly and we will take that, its something.
We are so close to detailed recall of the time spent breeding. One group were making sure we were only carrying/conceiving (?) boys for a long time. It didn't involve being raped by men it was all needles. They knew the main people didn't want boys so it was horrific abusive as painful as possible abortion after another. Think that went on for over a year. But the that ended and the main group found out about the other lot and they didn't get near me again. More tech was introduced, the worst of the Russians more closely involved, the Germans getting their hands dirty to and what you normally expect from the word "rape" began. It did feel different to be carrying our own. We tried to ignore it but it was obvious.
There was one maybe two boys conceived then a girl. There was constant arguments between them about putting us on hormones to produce multiples. I don't know if we well ever remember those months and years clearly. I don't know if remembering will help us get up and out more, to feel and think like ourself. I know we are getting a increased sense of how if felt a little more everyday and are recalling times when we remembered. Things got stirred up hanging out and talking to Graham and she came out, using our fingers to list and talk in all kinds of details in her little kid voice about it. He shook and wept and did what we could when he could.
There is no doubt when some of us talk. Its not someone else's memories and of it is we would say that and how we ended up with them. There's no question in any of us or any present soul that we talk about things that happened. Real events, real places, real people.
We are so close to detailed recall of the time spent breeding. One group were making sure we were only carrying/conceiving (?) boys for a long time. It didn't involve being raped by men it was all needles. They knew the main people didn't want boys so it was horrific abusive as painful as possible abortion after another. Think that went on for over a year. But the that ended and the main group found out about the other lot and they didn't get near me again. More tech was introduced, the worst of the Russians more closely involved, the Germans getting their hands dirty to and what you normally expect from the word "rape" began. It did feel different to be carrying our own. We tried to ignore it but it was obvious.
There was one maybe two boys conceived then a girl. There was constant arguments between them about putting us on hormones to produce multiples. I don't know if we well ever remember those months and years clearly. I don't know if remembering will help us get up and out more, to feel and think like ourself. I know we are getting a increased sense of how if felt a little more everyday and are recalling times when we remembered. Things got stirred up hanging out and talking to Graham and she came out, using our fingers to list and talk in all kinds of details in her little kid voice about it. He shook and wept and did what we could when he could.
There is no doubt when some of us talk. Its not someone else's memories and of it is we would say that and how we ended up with them. There's no question in any of us or any present soul that we talk about things that happened. Real events, real places, real people.
