Wear and tear

Yesterday we put the Xmas deco boxes up on a shelf and was really suffering with our hands later. They're sore most days now. Ended up doing a search on wear and tare arthritis, then osteoarthritis. Seriously shitty. Trying not to get to think about the causes and feel the fury or wonder about how much difference would it of made if the gabapentin falls, or the Dundee torture, or quite so much warring would of made. Counter factuals. Pointless.

Been watching a fair bit of MSNBC. They put a lot online and now we can actually watch and not feel exposure to thinking feeling humans just highlights our place and history even more. Occasionally check sky news website to see what UK is saying. Never for long though. If there is much real journalism going on over here its not easily found and we don't care enough to go hunting. Can't help but compare the response to President Savile over there to Brexit over here. Feels like UKs washed out, bleached absence of thinking feeling people gets highlighted more. Some twat MP saying UK will be fine with a no deal Brexit, because its Britain was the last straw. Course the upper middle class twats aren't worried, they've got resources and networks with resources and are mostly beyond the law anyway. Not much interest and certainly no big high profile investigations into "foreign interference" and nefariousness over here. No one cares about what has already been exposed.

Not surprising considering "Britishness" is nothing but foreign interference and nefariousness. Everything its every had and still has, its values its prosperity are all built on slavery and inhumane injustice and its so engendered for so long its completely  "normal" that most people and everyone with any power is incapable of questioning it. Lest wonder and envision what this archipelago could be if it just faced up to and fessed up to having intimate knowledge of the demon at the the heart of everything.

Walked for a while today round this pretty pretty town, when we got back our T-shirt was as soaked against the fake fur inside our new actually fits coat like we just woke up from a nightmare. Had to sleep after that and munching on some of cheap luxury chocolate biscuits. Quadruple chocolate. Super tasty. Not exactly a balanced lunch but we ate salad and baby potatoes for tea. Wish we could handle some kind of real lunch though.

Finished Snicket with the lad yesterday. Fairly brilliant. Something the narrator said about events being like the tide kind of struck us, has us more here, waiting differently than we how we have waited before. Not as certain as we always have of been and had hide from ourself that "this" will end but it will be costly and exhausting and lonely and grossly unfair.

Meanwhile its January and we know in January we focus on essential tasks and plan as little as possible and do all we can to not torture ourself with the "shoulds" and "I wishes"...

There is always so many I wishes. But not as many or as urgent I needs as there used to be.

Popular posts from this blog

Watered and fed the Roses

How do you know Savile to?