Wahay! Sanitary products and tinned food!
So thankful that food banks exist, that there is one within walking distance and we are not so mentally ill that we can actually go there, talk to them and ask. Wasn’t easy getting it all home though which has of course pissed off my hands and wrists. Knees were already damn sore. Gardening and walk to the beach yesterday. Shame he is not an age that can appreciate how wonderful it is to be able to walk all the way home from the beach with no shoes. We were not paddling it was freezing but we still could feel how utterly perfect that is.
Were given a load of bladder weakness stuff to, we did say we would be okay on Tuesday but glad we have them. Disposable knickers will come in handy if we run out of clean pants or during a cold.. Just to be given toilet roll and uht milk though.. considerably reduced our misery levels which are damn high anyway what with multiple sources of chronic pain and nicotine cravings and countined cannabislessness. Glad we went for the walk though even if it has made for worse pain our mind needed it. Spring settling in has us peeping out of ourself a little more to. Not having to fake the gladness, not feeling the basic joy of air, trees, sky, grass completely overshadowed. We may of been able to keep as much of the specifics out of our consciousness in Scotland but never the sense of extreme threat, loss and being hated by everyone just for being by people unable to care for themselves, their children.
There was another ting from our phone telling us “please sign into your UC account” this morning. This time we though there was a message that at least appeared to be from an actual person, we are going to have to fill out another capability for work questionaire. Will be working very hard on it in the hope we wont have to go face to face assessment. Switching in front of adults who have unlikely never heard of DID.. Having only us to care for us after, we will likely feel like we are back in Dundee, feeling like it’s the early nineties. That’s just way too much hell. Not sure what shape we would be in for a long time after that without any green herb or understanding persons to patch us up and glue us together.
Will buy garden stuff with the baccy money next week that will cheer us up and remember how shitty it felt to start smoking again after a week or longer of poverty enforced abstinence in the past.
Were given a load of bladder weakness stuff to, we did say we would be okay on Tuesday but glad we have them. Disposable knickers will come in handy if we run out of clean pants or during a cold.. Just to be given toilet roll and uht milk though.. considerably reduced our misery levels which are damn high anyway what with multiple sources of chronic pain and nicotine cravings and countined cannabislessness. Glad we went for the walk though even if it has made for worse pain our mind needed it. Spring settling in has us peeping out of ourself a little more to. Not having to fake the gladness, not feeling the basic joy of air, trees, sky, grass completely overshadowed. We may of been able to keep as much of the specifics out of our consciousness in Scotland but never the sense of extreme threat, loss and being hated by everyone just for being by people unable to care for themselves, their children.
There was another ting from our phone telling us “please sign into your UC account” this morning. This time we though there was a message that at least appeared to be from an actual person, we are going to have to fill out another capability for work questionaire. Will be working very hard on it in the hope we wont have to go face to face assessment. Switching in front of adults who have unlikely never heard of DID.. Having only us to care for us after, we will likely feel like we are back in Dundee, feeling like it’s the early nineties. That’s just way too much hell. Not sure what shape we would be in for a long time after that without any green herb or understanding persons to patch us up and glue us together.
Will buy garden stuff with the baccy money next week that will cheer us up and remember how shitty it felt to start smoking again after a week or longer of poverty enforced abstinence in the past.
