June 20, 2010

No violence or hardcore..

No sticky black either, apparently she has another favourite poison, and can't same I'm not disappointed because its not the same as mine. She gets awful bloody stupid road rage, and strops over arguments with her mother. She also has some well nice tattos, a tiger across her back amongst others. I would be lying if I said I never thought about sex with a bloke, a good bloke. She wasn't nearly as forward as I thought she would be, but the first time with anyone is usually slightly frustrating for both. And I don't think that shits too good for the sex drive, damn it. She kept asking me if I was sore, when I was far from feeling any pain, that always breaks the moment and makes me wish I hadn't said anything. I've no intentions of going down on her until she at leasts sorts that flat out, it worse than mine when I was my own.. and that is well bad.

But she had her moments, beautifully tender, which just made me want more. I know I will always have grass is greener issues. Certainly no regrets.. We met each others mothers and fathers before we got naked. We talked about where we could live and how we would go about having kids, intoxicated of course. I think her mum was impressed I bought flowers.

There's always a catch in every relationship and the one thats bothering me most doesn't have to be fatal. She wants support to get off it. There's definitely a few things she says that set of the alarm bells, all that get a good partner and get off it. I told her I can't fix her and she wants off it she will have to stop seeing people that have it and there is space for her here. She wasn't up for sharing it, not a social thing. That bothers me because, I'm like that with my spliffs and I can't see me getting off them for the time being.

I hate its smell.

Haven't written much, too much not sleeping and eating awwww. I want to see if Magma would be interested in anything else. My tutor said something about not liking abstract titles but it works in the case of Transcending. Thats what I've always felt, the extremes of my experience and depth of my insight or interest in how people and the world works justify abstraction. Like thats what its for. It might be a bit early yet though. It 'Therapy' Ive being thinking about calling it 'Sanctity'.I have that and first line that doesn't relate even slightly to the theme of a spiritual faith in psychotherapy being beautiful and right. Things can be right and not not beautiful but never beautiful without being right, following that road is abounding humanity. Anyhoo, family is arriving, and bottles and being clooped. Can't sit up here all day, considering my boundries.
xxxx