September 05, 2010

nursery tomorrow

I ironed today.

Its not its the first time. I have often ironed juniors leaving the house clothes. It was different this time though. I wanted more. I wanted to fill drawers and cupboards with cheap cotton ironed clothes.

The energy needed to be part of a local extended family was forgotten pretty quickly. Christ even if everyone was sorted its tiring all that knowing, caring and bonding. Loads of hugs from the newbie, they forget fuck all.

I have decided that sunday night wine, ironing and chill out is going to be part of the routine. Mondays will be busy and I think I can congratulate myself. I'm so glad we are here. The area, the nursery, the poems being printed, the people, christ even the bloody weather has been right.
I'm eating fruit for fuck sake.

Think I might not take the antidepressants for a couple of days, I'm starting to get pretty scared its going to well. Things always went amazing until I found myself in intensive care or much much worse.

Right now its all about the smelly candles in my 39p holders, cheesy tunes, a bath, a wee glass of cheap red and a large spliff. Extended families - much more socially acceptable than visiting drug dealers... and they are much better at looking after your kids..