We are here
Active enough on Friday and Saturday for our legs to be all shaky today. Its been good though, hair cut, had soup in a really cute place that we Pablo liked to, drooling at some of the old town houses, paddling in the freezing cold sea (cold enough to resolve the issue of not having peed in twenty minutes, we'll be going deeper then to mask our shame, at least the water is temporarily warmer), Pablo said something about being the one who didn't want to go to the beach but was now having the most fun, feeling like we are on holiday then coming home to our own beds, no plummeting agonising post been somewhere else come down. We are here.
Well some of us anyway and the rest of are of course technically here because I am where they live and what they are but its not like we could will understanding other languages or know who to phone and what to threaten them with to sort out our electricity bill, our isolation, our health care..
Plants had no chance of getting fed today but we did get Pablo to give the rose a watering can full. Today we have obsessed over expert level spider solitaire, remembered Irish travelers, found objects, made sausage and chips for tea, ordered groceries (its gonna be tricky money wish but no impossible as it has been) and read some Days of Blood and Starlight. We also downloaded some our pics to our new toy. We were right to only plan to do a few, knew for whatever reasons looking at the garden photos from last summer was going to be difficult and we were very right. Think all our loses have gotten tied up in them, the gorgeous flowers and the fairy garden stuff seem to remind us of all the could of been but wasn't and can't now, so exhausted having to start from scratch again, cats in them to of course, as well as the mixture of how proud we are and were of how beautiful we made it and the intense loneliness, the horrific creatures next door, everything they said and did and everything that made them, everything they represent. Ended up in tears. Not for long though.
Pain has been back today but as we haven't been taking so much codeine it has more effect when we do. Had a nasty arse spot which has been pretty unpleasant but the bottom ones never become what the arm pit ones used to regularly do and judging by the mess the worst is over for that particular uncomfortableness.
The good days, the feeling glad and alive they don't stop the need for weed anymore than they can undo the past or all that is going on it the world right now that is so fucking wrong, so pointlessly destructive and so fucking disgusting. Its wonderful for good days to be a thing though and so wonderful to be away from that shed and their voices, we are half expecting to hear or see them out and about here. I hope not. We wont be engaging unless we have to.
Well some of us anyway and the rest of are of course technically here because I am where they live and what they are but its not like we could will understanding other languages or know who to phone and what to threaten them with to sort out our electricity bill, our isolation, our health care..
Plants had no chance of getting fed today but we did get Pablo to give the rose a watering can full. Today we have obsessed over expert level spider solitaire, remembered Irish travelers, found objects, made sausage and chips for tea, ordered groceries (its gonna be tricky money wish but no impossible as it has been) and read some Days of Blood and Starlight. We also downloaded some our pics to our new toy. We were right to only plan to do a few, knew for whatever reasons looking at the garden photos from last summer was going to be difficult and we were very right. Think all our loses have gotten tied up in them, the gorgeous flowers and the fairy garden stuff seem to remind us of all the could of been but wasn't and can't now, so exhausted having to start from scratch again, cats in them to of course, as well as the mixture of how proud we are and were of how beautiful we made it and the intense loneliness, the horrific creatures next door, everything they said and did and everything that made them, everything they represent. Ended up in tears. Not for long though.
Pain has been back today but as we haven't been taking so much codeine it has more effect when we do. Had a nasty arse spot which has been pretty unpleasant but the bottom ones never become what the arm pit ones used to regularly do and judging by the mess the worst is over for that particular uncomfortableness.
The good days, the feeling glad and alive they don't stop the need for weed anymore than they can undo the past or all that is going on it the world right now that is so fucking wrong, so pointlessly destructive and so fucking disgusting. Its wonderful for good days to be a thing though and so wonderful to be away from that shed and their voices, we are half expecting to hear or see them out and about here. I hope not. We wont be engaging unless we have to.
