June 04, 2016

Are you sure Sir?

We already knew. It's how it works with us. Phone calls are verbal confirmation when we its so serious we cant fucking believe they are going to let us do it.

We had to walk. We didnt get far. We knew he would spot a strong emotional reaction in us from very little, very quickly and we were going to have to come up with something but not just yet we were going to have to sit down because we feeling very large colourful spots. The steps behind the back of the bar will have to do. It's not like privacy was any kind of option anyway it was daytime and busy.

"Are you sure Sir?" and repeated whatever utterly obvious code between us that we were using. He was defintly saying yes. He sounded like he could be either pissed off that we need to be told and told repeatidly told or like he had a gun to his head. Either way. That would be his problem. There was a permanet record all over the shop just giving us the order..

The big colourful blotches werent going away even off the phone and sitting on the steps. Shaking our head to make them go away so we could start thinking wasnt helping. All my gorgeous friends coming up and asking what was wrong and what they could do to help werent helping either. We shooed them all away until eventually managed to tell one that the best thing they could do was stop people from asking if the could help for a little while so we could think. He was happy with that. Likes clear orders that one and goes about them with an earnestness that we always find very charming to distraction.

Wow. Okay. Head in hands. Ah darkness where we do our best thinking. Priorities. Number 1 - calm the fuck down, 2 -  come up with an explanation for the obvious important call we just got for the CID guy that would be convincing and would lay the ground work for calmly walking into their van with them in a highly relaxed manner and then ending the mother fucking pair of them in a manner that impressed the bosses whilst staying true to ourself. We kept out head hidden and had to kept rubbing our chin and on our Tshirt and shorts we were salivating that badly. It just wouldnt stop. This was not a good look. We remember we had DID which at least stopped the drooling and meant we could stand up and breath and start trying feebly to shake it off.

What do we do, what do humans do when massively emotionally overwhelmed? When we don't know which way is up and which way is down? We lean on mythology to get us through. We checked the Scottish RA brain area. The drooling triggered vampirism stuff and we made a commitment that they wouldnt bleed much or at all and we definitely didnt want to be accidentally tasting any spray. We had to hide in the trees and stay back from the lads after that happened the other night. Not because we thought we were going to attack them and drink their blood or some shit but because of horrific programming that had been triggered and had us drooling producing uncontainable amounts of bile and flashbacking. They scooped us and hugged us and it settled down.

We didnt mind eye or physical contact from folk our own age but we couldn't look at the older guys. We had just IDed ourself to some of real killers amongst them and triggered fuck knows what in them and we didnt think seeing the major fucking tempests that would be rising and reawakening in them would help us or them much at that precious and precise moment. A good friend wiped our bottom chin and lip for us, he remembered it from when we were kids anyway. He didnt puke much at that damage we could do any more, it was the speed and the strength and the other stuff that made him loose his penne.

He just made his eyes all big and then walked off he were so fucking glad that he exists. We felt human again. Took a deep breath and looked a particular older gentleman in the eye. We had been avoiding him so far because we knew the moment we looked straight at each other we would both get more than what we prepared ourselves for. Swallow it down. The dude was rocking on his feat and this is not a guy that was prone to fainting. That was of course noticed by loads and we prayed for him internally. God speed my man.

We just smiled and nodded and went back to Pabs and Margo and go work on our story. Just another job. One that would involve even more than normal of us working together internally which was a very good reason to do it. And because of who they were and the power they have over all the victims from a the compounds, hell holes and institutions.