July 22, 2016

What do you mean by asking that same question?

"What do you mean by trafficking?"

How many fucking times have I been asked that in the last three and a half weeks.. It's still being sold and transported around for sex and abuse. Same as it was every other time we've been fucking asked.

She said some positive regards to access to Pabs which of course is the social works decision and not her's anyway. Then she said she hoped I would be being discharged the week after next. Not next week like she said last time. She asked if there was any questions but as we had just explained again what trafficking means to educated adult who asked us the exact same question last days before and gave a brief talk on our experiences of said trafficking, Savile, hospitals, Jersey and even mentioned the BBC (premises not employees. obvs) and knew we had a weekend pass we just needed the fuck out of there.

Unsurprising we have a massive desire/need to score some weed but as we are under a Schodinger's pee test type situation (or just denying ourself what we need cause we are being crushed by British social work and the NHS and are so fucking triggered and so fucking terrified of them both due to a life time of bad and very bad experiences) we bloody wont.

Have emailed the social worker who got back to us saying we will probably get to see him on his birthday though..

We managed not to cry in the hospital, on the bus, scored ourself a bunch of junkfood then when we got in the taxi fucking Snowpatrol were playing (light up, light up as if you have a choice ..yada yada). Picked the shit of the floor cause Princess puss doesnt like pooping in the try, only next to it. Climbed up here and under blankets and now we are weeping.

Everytime we put our hand above our head when relaxing on the ward bed and feel the metal against out wrists we have to stop immediately because we remembered being tied up in hospitals on hospital beds in that position..

Oh well best we keep you here for another week then my dear..

She isn't Saviley her junior (DID is a controversial diagnosis but Delusional Disorder in sexual abuse survivors isnt said with a smile who the social worker liked is you got it back next week) is another case.

Hopefully when I get back after the review with the social work review on Monday I can press the need to be released sooner rather than later better...(!!)

Maybe I should be getting a lawyer and another institution who we have little but bad experiences with to the mix?

Not's not true we got help with our benefits from British lawyers.. ....

Niall is coming down tomorrow we wish he wasnt cause when we say the doctor has pushed it back another week he will say something offensive about maybe the doctors are right cause they are the doctors and therefore should be trusted. He's never faced up to anything horrific, ever.