July 22, 2016

lawyer needed

Social Worker did say we should get a lawyer when we met him and he bonded soo touchinly with controversial junior doc after we brought him in cause we were in a fool in crisis. We sent an email to one who sent one back telling us to look else where. The thought of explaining it all, hoping the too honest parts dont come out and undermine whatever ground we have made by talking about rituals, or programming, pits of dead kids or famous people. Think we have to though. There is no point in shoulds, or wishes or if onlys and it would be better if we went into Monday's meeting with a lawyer but it would always of been better if we had felt safe enough to send Pabs to school in June or had gotten out the UK or at least the area so we would be with him tonight and tomorrow.

We havent scored, havent cut, havent took more gabapentin, havent smashed anything, didnt take all 3 pass meds in a oner, just took some cocodomal and some more four hours later, went and got our hair cut from a local hairdresser who knew straight away we were giving her much the same BS as last time, cept this time there was added BS about our son being "with friends", we dont like her cuts especially for the cash she takes and the lack of time she takes. Next time we will remember to go else where. Ate fish and chips. Emailed advocacy. Drank some wine. Still feel like time has been turned back by being told our discharge is further than we were told earlier in the week. That same impatientness that wants to turn to self harm. That same sense of utter voiceless and powerlessness and invisibility and pointlessness in the face of institutionalised nationalised violence, corruption, ignorance and cover up.

We've survived worse right?

Monday morning we start calling lawyers. And right now we try on our outfit for the review.

We mentioned SRA to the psychologist. Still mental if we doing shit like that huh?