Staying Alive

Cheers Stina.

Got to speak to Pabs over weekend, he sounded good, lots of stuff around him that he likes, beach, park, xbox one.. Spoke to social worker today to and his whole tone was different with us and that was a massive relief to. Actually able to relax a bit and the other patients are mostly all sound.

When you add it all up its a lot of years of trauma and fuck all recovery and we couldnt soldier on any more, espically now the links with the fake family real horror stories have been broken with the death of Margo and the loss of spider monkey and snot boy to said fake family real horror stories and them of course not wanting the kids to stay in touch..

When they were down for Margo's funeral Bill and Nathan were talking about all the ppl who have died and Bill looked over at me and said something like 'but your still here' we had an easy answer, 'not exactly on the same side are we Bill'.. We knew they were trying to scare us. A few words of everything.. didnt make much difference.. Horrific existance..

Anxiety levels are getting down to what they were before we came in.. Maybe lower because the pressure of buying and preparing food has gone. Still to skinny for our liking though we cant lean back against the plastic chairs in out door smoking garden because of our bonny spine.. :-(

We are waiting to hear back from an advocay service and have had enough concentration to read a whole book!

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