July 09, 2016

Homeward bound ( I wish I was)

Want fuck all to do with the extra drugs folk are getting in. Dont want to know. Dont want to see. Definitly dont want to smell. We are even missing our hot chocolate to avoid it. And its fuck all to do with piss test another patient has said we will have to take before we get to see Pabs again. Even if its true.

Neither do we want fuck all to do with other patients abuse stories. For obvious fucking reasons.

Want fuck all to do with the narcasist that has pissed of every woman in here and they are all or almost all much more people persons than we are.

Appart from that its going well. Worried that the staff may think we are partaking because we can genuinly say we are "good" when asked how we are.

Seriously though. Been thinking about the house and dealing with it when we get out for a while or for good. All the shit we couldnt face. The cupboards. The carpets. Painting the living room. We dont want to burn the place down anymore. We want to make it nicer. Would still incinerate the landlord if possible though. And the leaking roof in our bedroom. We cant fix that and neither can the roofer because the landlord wont pay for it to be properly fixed.

The other two woman who were in this dorm before we arrived remind us of Margo and Laura, in terms of ages, build and temprament. Even hair!

Not too much that we are creeped out buy it. Triggered of course by the L like woman and her stories and drug dependancies.

When we do get back to the house at least we can eventually know we will be passed that horrible programming that was going on with the masonic nasties male GPs. Everytime we walked in their rooms we felt ourself leave. Cunts.

Piss test us all you like. We were outa there at the first smell of pollen not wanting any extra pills either. Not happy about having to knock back the gabapentin and the other stuff in the little medicine cups. Not going to be adding more.

Other stuff is helping. But the rest and food and change of scenery may be doing the most of the work. But not all of it.

Anyhoo we are leaving hospital grounds tomorrow with Niall. I suspect we will handle it fine. Then next week we can see about passes to find out how we would cope with the house.. They probs wont let us go next actual week though. Of course. But maybe we will get to meet Pabs somewhere. I really hope so. Really, really hope so.

They have