April 09, 2018

Hey maybe I can phone the chemist and find out what happened to that prescription then we check the time and realise why that suddenly felt doable, it was after six and the chemist is shut. Will manage tomorrow most likely as the cramping is getting us fairly nauseous as well as damn sore. We had a look at the few contacts in our phone. Seeing shitty texts and promises that never materialised from people and remembering crappy treatment from them enough to rid us of any urge to reach out for weed. Theres one that might get back to us but this is skint week anyway and we still haven't bought the lad the new shoes he needs.

We were linned up on platforms surrounding them and cloaked. Someone was worried that they would know we were there but we said they had little awareness that they were there so would not be noticing us. We listened to some of his speech or some of us did it was too horrid for us but we caught what we were waiting for, a declaration that if they failed to kill us then and there they would get us in the summer of 2018 and the big cheer coming up from the gathered was our que to open fire. There wasn't many that got away but there was a couple  with all out fascist protection that managed to be ushered out in time. Like we are always saying the ones that are instructed to talk to us, folk whose numbers don't disappear from our phone are usually amongst the worst of the raping murdering fascists. We could of taken the shot we clearly saw the blonde hair being rushed away by some plain clothes cunt but it was before we took lots more of the horror tech down. We were tempted but glad to find out we were not so desperate to take that way out. It was such a relief when she texted a bunch of shite after we didn't give her a quid for toilet roll and we could end it without forcing the desperate upfront parts to remember.

We arnt scared. Not in anything like the states we were in before the hospital, or living in Dundee with fuck all memory or with the Johnston's, etc. Its horrid knowing the community and country you live in is literally creaming itself over the thought of torturing and murdering you and your bairn though. Its never going to be home. You can never trust or truly relax, not ever and that's exhausting but we don't feel it is constantly unbareable as we have.

Can't see how Fifers can take us out on their own. They have never done anything by themselves and there is stuff in place for when and if official state forces from here and abroad start making moves that they hope to be fatal or worse for us. If we can survive the ninities, all those times we were captured, held in restraints, drugged, anesthatised, Pablo's pregnancy and the last few years we can survive whatever's next.

...

We got your eggs back mummy. We can get them somewhere safe.. Do you want us to..

Make yourself a family.

Think that was maybe the last time we saw her smile at us and recognise us. She held on until she knew they were safe.