Paul
Hate the way running out of good weed turns out all the light on our positive feelings and turns the full glare of a military grade spot light on our negative feelings. There is a lot to cause very bad feelings. Took the last of the diazepam in the early hours along with the last half of a big bag of Revels and bag of steak flavour McCoys when we got a headful of Paul. Paul and the Scots. Paul and the Brits. Paul and the Russians. Paul and the Japanese. Paul and the American authorities. Paul and all those Fascists pets pretending they are criminal everywhere. "Paul" because that was the only name he could remember being called. Like us and "Louise". Like English is the only language we can remember.
There isnt weed good enough even off planet to quell that war lust. Now we are hurting and sore didn't order more painkillers because we didn't need them. Hope the bloody plug plants don't arrive became we couldn't face it today. Already had a meter checker and a Jehovah's freak at the door which hasn't helped. Had a banana on a roll though and the dude is good for food. And we got a hot water bottle. And some cats. Here is the cats..
We go outside for a second or two. Move a pot into the sun, pick a slug out of a basket. It helps a little seeing things we planted last year or those two tiny green leaves, the night scented stock still as easy to germinate as ever. He was supposed to be here but it was impossible to communicate. Impossible to get near him. Possible to get any human near him. He was the boy me. We were told they always kept one male and they have Pablo now. They had him convinced that we wanted him dead but we loved him and just wanted to not be held hopelessly in the worst slavery and torture. We could do nothing. Think he felt it when he went down though and for a second or two knew how we felt about him.
There was far too many ops and ongoing horror to survive for us mourn at the time. We had to help Laura, we had to protect Pabs as best we could, we had to not die, we had to keep fighting to get the truth to places where it mattered. So much of it meant so little to us though. We were on autopilot. They won. We truley hate this place and want it annihilated leaving nothing left but dust and a memorial.
We cant put off the mourning anymore. We would never of survived without him. They never stopped torturing one of us to manipulate the other.
Love you boy whatever your name is, I think it probably isn't Paul and I bet there is people out there that will never stop looking for you and loving you.
There isnt weed good enough even off planet to quell that war lust. Now we are hurting and sore didn't order more painkillers because we didn't need them. Hope the bloody plug plants don't arrive became we couldn't face it today. Already had a meter checker and a Jehovah's freak at the door which hasn't helped. Had a banana on a roll though and the dude is good for food. And we got a hot water bottle. And some cats. Here is the cats..
We go outside for a second or two. Move a pot into the sun, pick a slug out of a basket. It helps a little seeing things we planted last year or those two tiny green leaves, the night scented stock still as easy to germinate as ever. He was supposed to be here but it was impossible to communicate. Impossible to get near him. Possible to get any human near him. He was the boy me. We were told they always kept one male and they have Pablo now. They had him convinced that we wanted him dead but we loved him and just wanted to not be held hopelessly in the worst slavery and torture. We could do nothing. Think he felt it when he went down though and for a second or two knew how we felt about him.
There was far too many ops and ongoing horror to survive for us mourn at the time. We had to help Laura, we had to protect Pabs as best we could, we had to not die, we had to keep fighting to get the truth to places where it mattered. So much of it meant so little to us though. We were on autopilot. They won. We truley hate this place and want it annihilated leaving nothing left but dust and a memorial.
We cant put off the mourning anymore. We would never of survived without him. They never stopped torturing one of us to manipulate the other.
Love you boy whatever your name is, I think it probably isn't Paul and I bet there is people out there that will never stop looking for you and loving you.
