April 21, 2018

My twin..

Ooh Davey Baby we are so excited. You know how sunlight when we have been without can have us high as fuck. This year we don't have to sit on it like its an impossibly over stuffed suitcase with constant damage limitation over all the stuff we let slip. Even when it was safe we couldn't handle it. We couldn't bare the thought of them getting you but we did such a good job of keeping you out of our mind they we completely blind to you to.

Isnt it cute? The smell of wood smoke has come into the house and we love that. Reminds us of that Yurt me and you were in one winter, somewhere Northern and on a different land mass. Saw in your eyes your loved it as much as us we did and coped well with the cold on the way there. God the relief at size of the wood pile. And inside it was fucking adorable. There was some plumming but not much and i remember you playing in the buckets of snow I brought in to melt. I showed you how to make a mini small man and you thought was amazing but didnt like how quickly he melted. I loved the little noise you made when you got the connection between cold, snow, heat and water when you saw the one we made outside hadnt melted. Watching you help yourself to water from the bucket with your hand was also fucking adorable.

I don’t know how late long we were there but it really stands out as really wonderful time. We would cry sometimes for all the horribleness or because we missed your brother and sister but you would cheer us up so quickly you were so happy. I think someone found out we had a kid there with us and that was the end of that. Fade out again.  It was so bitter leaving and they we were there ending. We didnt notice the cold. It didn't go as bad as we thought it was going to though and not being separated from you saved us.

I hope you want to come home to me and Pabs and not have to do awful things to our own and each others mind to stay together and stay alive. We see you sitting next to the fire we knew we would but your maybe bigger than we are imaging now.

Happy to not sleep tonight. Drinking cups of tea and smoking the meh hash. Wierdly looking forward to it getting love light in the middle of the night. Its not like we can just run the burner all the time wood is not cheap. I really hope we can speak to you soon. Love you Davey.