i believe in you dad
Maybe we are giving us hints. The British soldiers who heard what their superiors promise to kill us like they had the rest of my “kind” if we didnt do as they say, the monitors showing stuff we knew would happen but we still collapsed when it hit these more isolated parts that this is going to end. The associate we were with stopped us from hitting the ground and proudly handed us over to you.
We started to feel better after our codiene nap today, good things feel real again and we dont feel so hopeless. Its so good to get snippets of being happy and being loved and not just horror. Its so good to know we dont have to lie to ourself about all the genocide or split ourself by letting some of us follow programming so we believe its not that bad, authorities arnt all fascist and maybe its okay to trust people. It was and is that bad, the authorities everywhere will stop at nothing to maintain their privilage and the rigid binaries that the unquestionable patriarchy requires. Crimes against humanity and mass slaughter are essential in order to keep past crimes and genocide secret from the very populations who took part in it.. We have always wondered who the talk on the news, in churches, schools etc was trying to convince but its just how things are done. There’s the extremely vicious misogynistic antisemitism thats socially complusary across the social classes and the denial and pretense at humanitarian values because it sounds all cozy and nice while running both in people’s vacuos heids keeps everyone split, stupid and too confused and scared to do anything about it.
Im so glad im not like that, that i never agreed to slaughter people because they were smarter than me, because they were slaves or just because i was told to hate them. We never agreed to hand babies over to baby rapists in exchange for being left alone the rest of the time or for material gain. Our mother never agreed, nor her mother.. but its mostly irrelevant what women do or dont agree to. We are not given real choices, neither are the men but they are groomed and brain dead enough to believe they do and also to respect fascist orders or they themselves will be treated like they have been instructed to treat women.
Its kind of weird knowing and remembering stuff and not feeling so petrified or physically ill from it. Not that we feel nothing their is plenty rage and revulsion but we dont feel completely overwhelmed by it we dont feel like we died to like we did for so long. There is no fear that a part will remember something ze shouldnt and they will come back. There is nothing left to force us into letting extremely weak human shaped shells that they have power over us when it was something else entirely.
We are still stuck in this house on some very blood and heart break soaked soil on a depraved as fuck planet and its scary to say now that we are starting to truly believe it and not just saying it to try and feel less bad but things are going to get better for us, much much better.
Ohh after midnight. There will be new day gifts for me on the tablet games..
Love you.
Xxxxxx
We started to feel better after our codiene nap today, good things feel real again and we dont feel so hopeless. Its so good to get snippets of being happy and being loved and not just horror. Its so good to know we dont have to lie to ourself about all the genocide or split ourself by letting some of us follow programming so we believe its not that bad, authorities arnt all fascist and maybe its okay to trust people. It was and is that bad, the authorities everywhere will stop at nothing to maintain their privilage and the rigid binaries that the unquestionable patriarchy requires. Crimes against humanity and mass slaughter are essential in order to keep past crimes and genocide secret from the very populations who took part in it.. We have always wondered who the talk on the news, in churches, schools etc was trying to convince but its just how things are done. There’s the extremely vicious misogynistic antisemitism thats socially complusary across the social classes and the denial and pretense at humanitarian values because it sounds all cozy and nice while running both in people’s vacuos heids keeps everyone split, stupid and too confused and scared to do anything about it.
Im so glad im not like that, that i never agreed to slaughter people because they were smarter than me, because they were slaves or just because i was told to hate them. We never agreed to hand babies over to baby rapists in exchange for being left alone the rest of the time or for material gain. Our mother never agreed, nor her mother.. but its mostly irrelevant what women do or dont agree to. We are not given real choices, neither are the men but they are groomed and brain dead enough to believe they do and also to respect fascist orders or they themselves will be treated like they have been instructed to treat women.
Its kind of weird knowing and remembering stuff and not feeling so petrified or physically ill from it. Not that we feel nothing their is plenty rage and revulsion but we dont feel completely overwhelmed by it we dont feel like we died to like we did for so long. There is no fear that a part will remember something ze shouldnt and they will come back. There is nothing left to force us into letting extremely weak human shaped shells that they have power over us when it was something else entirely.
We are still stuck in this house on some very blood and heart break soaked soil on a depraved as fuck planet and its scary to say now that we are starting to truly believe it and not just saying it to try and feel less bad but things are going to get better for us, much much better.
Ohh after midnight. There will be new day gifts for me on the tablet games..
Love you.
Xxxxxx
