..dear reader..

Dreams were pretty awful but seconds after we woke the Asda guy was at the door with more booze and munchies and its been snowing Daddy.. So know we have spliff, boozy tea and a beautiful view we didn't have yesterday without having to go any where. Yesterday we started writing about how we've been remembering you last year, how you couldn't believe both me and my sister were still alive, how we feel so scared and overwhelmed whenever you say you want to look after us because we are scared that will never happen. But it was on this tablet because Laura's old computer charge cable has been tripped over so many times its not charging any more and we hadn't saved when the battery went without warning and we lost the whole thing. Hope you can remember anything you need from it from when we told you that would happened.. It kinda bugged we liked the post. The early benefits went in early and its been pretty good. Thinking about you and sis. Mostly you it...

We're doing well.. Although we did forget again that Pabs  doesn't like gammon.. And its Friday the benefits go in of course not today or tomorrow which is a bummer cause wee have one nip of brandy left and not much milk and of course no crappy hash to help us manage the loneliness. Need to try and get a decent lump on Friday, another New Year with no one to hug but one ten year old who we were forced to carry and keep after making it impossible for me to keep every other child the forced us to have so the fascists and the capitalists can use him to manipulate us is kinda crappy. Got on to him about his attitude a few times today. We found the first "actually mummy" kinda cute but that was years and years ago and the older he gets the more the way he speaks to me upsets and angers us. Getting him to do a little but here and there to help us but getting a kid whose routine involves bugger all chores to start doing some is work as well. We can feel ourself searching f...

Music keeps our mood up. Music and brandy. It wasn't too bad. Still wished we could stay in bed and smoke and people can in and hug us and keep kitchen clean for us. We always struggle with tiredness and overwhelmedness on xmas morning, well all mornings. It's a shame for the dude but he's older and more used to it. He was very excited to bring me the present he bought for us with cash we gave him. Bath bomb and a Rainbow Dash that can be coloured in. But best of all is a unicorn that lights up when you press it's hoof.. Steak, turkey crown, pastry clouds (used the cookie cutter. the cookies were a disaster..) roast yams, corn on the cob for the lad, creamed tatties, gravy of course. It was pretty fabulous. Did well with feasting. There's a good bit of meat to cook in freezer. We have the kitchen all nice its cool to cook in it and have sit down meals with the lad with candles and everything. It is better just us and its been the less stressful one with the la...

Merry Winterfest Every pretty thing is a huge battle lost of course to. To be here buying this shit instead of weed of going places or being somewhere else where being ourself doesn't cause the issues it always has here. That's a few years now of treating winter blues with Amazon "shabby chic" "natural" "Nordic".. It's easy the appreciate without the threats or the work to avoid the threats that result from our self expression. Cradle to the grave. You will always be a slave." We love it though. Don't we? Will we make it through this year without some comment about not thinking we would be into it and wonder and be grateful for the splits in our soul that stop me from knowing if thats because we seem educated, cynical, or is some antis semitic shit. When you have spent December losing battles against genocide it seem life affirming to make the absolute most out of ones spent in doors, with goreless walls, our ghost of ...

It's hard to forget how far we have come. Sitting here, awakeish, in our own flesh listening to whatever we fancy on a half decent speaker, with a Anderson, Johnston and slave industry free Christmas at worst.. As far as we are aware the final veto to us leaving Earth from elsewhere has been lifted. Goddam impossible trying to get hippy unslaved life forms to understand how awful things are here and its a nightmare trying to get the truth to someone when they are in the same room but getting it real life which always far far away.. We've been dreaming about death cults and bits being cut out of peoples brains, thats an awful lot of truth for our dreams. Remembering snippets of Pabs pregnancy to.. Fifers turned up to the house near Newburgh cause work that slavers expect wasn't getting done. Think the first thing one of them said was "What the fuck are you wearing?" But we were naked, all our clothes had been taken, the water turned off. We survived by killing o...

Feeling, thinking that there only is one solution here and that is to give the fascists bots what they want and bye bye Earth. Increasingly praying for it to. Any teeny tiny hope left was lost when Anton took flat line programming to turn up here for this Christmas as a son from the rings and attempt to fuck us. The new littles that were made by flat linning us could take no more heart break and the rest of us agree. There is no love and if there is no love there is no humanity and if there is no humanity the slavery and the genocide and the femicide across all nation states will never end. Everyday there biodiversity of all kinds is lost here while it increases and is enriched elsewhere. Everyday the human gene pool and human potential is disseminated and destroyed and there is nothing left to fight it. We can not and will not fight for creatures that refuse to even recognise reality and our existance and the endless exhausting efforts to survive and improve conditions down here. W...

Seeing the cash in the bank made me feel the same as we do when we can hear his voice over the xbox when he's playing with Pabs. We bought a bottle of naf du paf, drank half of it and watched a movie with the lad then told him he couldn't be friends with Niall anymore. He cried but said rehearsed sounding lines about supporting me in anyway he could. We played a board game then we drank then rest of the wine and danced in our bedroom alone to Abba, remembering. As with so many things it would be preferable to have had support with this in the here and now but this planet refuses to work like that so we got what we could for it when we could. No physical attacks have happened over yet and we are past the worst of the fear. Winterfest minus another slaver bot, couldn't bare the thought of another and him seeing us in our heart and star of David. Not so terrified of sleeping at night anymore but our habits are quite noctural now anyway and we did what we had to do. Send a t...

Still unhugged. Of course. :-( Went to the shop with the star showing though. Glad the shop is nearby makes the gob gauntlet over quickly. In the shop one of the confirmed Satanists from the school who works in the shop to turned the corner of an isle with her eyes at the height of our pendant and never lifted them. We are angry about the school and their "would be terrible if you lost Pablo to" comments and that just what the surface parts remember but not in terror like we were last week. They wouldn't of programmed us to wear a Star of David but they will of planned to keep there promise of what they would do if we did she we leaked that we would be wearing one now. We are feeling pretty good and we don't when they're plans are going as planned. We wouldn't be wearing it if they had a real chance of taking out me or dude. Felt great outside with it proudly showing. Head full of blood rivers, Glen Prosen, Aberdeen, St Andrews, London, Liverpool, Edinburgh...

We have fucking done it. We slept. In Scotland. Wearing a Star of David. And as far as we can tell and we believe we are where we are experiencing we are, we are still here it seems.. Not got much else to say at this point but fucking had to say that. Fucking hell. Millions of years of anti semitism and slavery and genocide and doesn't have the power to stop us from ordering, receiving and wearing a piece of Made in China jewelry. That is broken Satanism, very broken Satanism and it doesn't work if it's broken. It's binary AF of course. Having issues relating to "River of blood" Kirkton of Skene, 1980s to now issues.. Everything needed something and needed to know it would work and saw more than they needed to cause things are fucked up and lost it all to the other side. They were saying in the 1990s that they were doing stuff because it was gonna be in the blog. This blog. Multi level bullshit of course. What isn't fiction is the genocide and the riv...

Well there it is. Beautiful isn't it? We have really slept since it arrived. Couldn't send dude of out to school.  Sick at the thought of it. Keeping thinking about how some man spat into his face when we were near the bus station in Dundee once. He was three/four and we were having an okay time out as far as he was concerned until that happened. The way he cried. You come back fucking covered just for taking a kid to the park sometimes. Would happen to Laura with Nathan to. Fucking disgusting. You cant call them animals. No fucking way we did even half those scars there reader. There's been loads of systems over it but one of the most persistant involves people who have access to us, like the Johnstons, Niall, any fake "social" friends there has been, drug dealers, top industry slavers, teachers and GPs I think as well. We took out the things that gave the Satanists there power beyond basic inhumanity and brutality.  "Family" were primed and...

We wept. Then wept some more. Amongst all the lies and efforts to set up our death and worst from all the calls we coming into Fintry here are real people telling me their prioritised the emotional torture and manipulation. It's done. We can be hugged by people. Hugged by people who have not swore oaths to hate and hurt us forever, our poor sister does not have to be us anymore she can figure out who she is and what she wants without having to be our only representative. More than all that after all these decades we can hug our sister. We can hug our Mum/s. We can hug our Dad/s and anyone else without the mile plus long multi bomb going off.. Holy fucking shit. Still can't have sex but how the hell can you make love if you can't hug? Impossible. And if you have only been able to hug people since last night you are not going to go out and fuck tomorrow. The height and depths triggers are still active as is the American soil one but we told them not to prioritize that. If ...

Parts were saying last night where we no longer have to fear Italians finding out exactly how much the mafias are fascist. Massive relief but also obvious as fuck. There would be no Trump without the Brits but they would never of gotten us anaesthatised in Trump tower if it wasn't for the Gabienos. The police and military aren't 100% dumb terminals like here and in the US though so that's something but all our efforts to separate the drugs and the slave trade amount to very little in long term and its quite clear authorities are all about legalising and legitmising the slave trade but not the drugs. No humanitarianism. No human rights but satanic rites are prioritized, upheld and enforced, this is the West, people arn't called people in the West.. Parts are also saying the mega bomb deep under Britain isn't just primed to go blow at us having consensual sex, being deep underground or high above it but we also can't set foot on the Americas.. thats why we had ...

See littles it's not as bad now, we can type our name it's Rosa Menzel or maybe was. Mum said her dad was a great man and she was proud of the name and we should be to and not care too much that it's been stolen as they have and are taking much worse than our names. Can't say it aloud to ourself and the surveillance or Pablo yet and don't think we could sign it just yet alone but maybe tomorrow. We are going to have to say something to him when the pendant arrives. Not much but something. As previously discussed by many but yesterday we watched Finders Keepers and Death Note with the lad and it was not bad. We mentioned othering and sexism. We can't not watch tv with pabs without pointing out the isms. We don't watch tv with him much.. Really can't bare the big screen and all the crap pouring out of it. Littles are relieved they can mourn Petey without being terrified of what they will do to him or what they will make him do. Turning beautiful baby ...

I believe that the Japanese comrades who had to use the Satanic British networks to get a hold of our DNA to make a comparison with the young women whose recently slaughtered remains they helped extract from a field in Skene in the 1990s and have kept safe ever since have the results. The Satanic British networks being the NHS and adjoining "secret service", remember we said they took blood and the computer label came out "Louise Johnston" and the nurse said she would print out another with the "Julia Stuart" but we never saw her do it, she said it would get chucked out in the lad if it had the wrong name on, okay doke, we fucking wish.. Dude we texted about lay on never got back to us. We got cash now, took out 100 if anyone fancies bringing over some quality cannabis, or even not all that good cannabis and some proper pain killers cause we are done feeling brain damaged as fuck every time we pick up the apple phone, yes that symbol is a fuck you to al...

The tosser than never fixes anything came round and fixed it enough so the heating is back on tho and pissed about with the downstairs toilet and said it was fixed again so it will keep filling and not stop again the next time its flushed. Same problems Margo had with this place when she had the lease like six or seven years ago and Laura of course had to. Same shitty shit over and over again. .. Rosa Netanyahu we signed. The pigs were not happy. He's my mother who was slaughtered in Skene for being Jewish and female and intelligent's (can't remember how many generations it goes back but this is GB so probably hundreds) brother apparently and when we lost our American Dad (I hate that we can't remember what my Dad's people called their home) he turned up and said he would adopt me. What ridiculous huh? We got to talk to him when the Slaver powers that be needed something out of it. Everyday though he is choosing to keep me here. We could see where it was headin...

Lost the second weed lass. We asked her to bring over toilet roll she brought some, the cheap stuff fair enough. We forgot to give her change or add a quid or two when we made bank transfer for the weed and got a stream of texts from her yesterday saying how we were taking advantage of her and other crap we didn't bother reading before we blocked her. Spending everything on weed at the moment and it isn't helping all that much. Glad the awful triggery hugs at the door from her are over, we had years of hugging an absent/never was Margo we don't need another. We remembering saying in Skene in the early 90s that we did not want to friends with anyone who would only be our "friend" if slavers said so.. This is Earth isn't Terra is no more. It was natural and man made so it got destroyed because they couldn't get absolute and total control over it like the can with it's inferior man made imitation that did have an ancient Satanic computer at its cente...

Ug reader. We don't feel quite so alone suppose. We've a few brothers and sisters that have survived the surface but that's about it. We keep thinking about the standard mason approved cross section of Earth pointing at in in front of a bunch of somebodies and calling it as empirical as flat earth theory. They were all cheered so they were most likely bots and someone pressed the "cheer now" button and are currently teaching fictional propaganda "science" to those of privileged castes deemed stupid or broken enough to live. Some others far far away a long long time ago got tricked by Satanists into building this planet and it almost cost them everything except they still had enough sense left to destroy the unconscious flesh bots before everything was lost. It has been a privilege to help them heal and rebuild and show them the amazing work being done everywhere but planet dumbfuck. We believe they are and will help me here because they are good peopl...

So is this the fourth year we have been alone with no word from no anyone facing the week of the local school Halloween disco with the lad becoming more and more blind and deaf to me with every hour he spends in that school and another layer of bullshit added to his brain every time sleeps and every topic he wants to talk at me about are more and more overtly triggering. JK Rowling and "the chosen one" sharing a birthday, we can talk a tiny bit about it being racist and male supremacist and stupid but still can't talk about what is so deeply disgusting about the hook nose bankers or the house elves.. Pablo the writer of that book has literally told me she would kill you. Could you please stop saying we are wrong to call out sexism in Harry Potter. The other topic when he came in? Secret trials for his secret ninja club that were very close to the ideas behind satanic trials. We know he's got a him underneath it all, that our son is still in there but he isn't sui...

It was great to show Mia what happened the first time we were set up by the West, she would of seen it before but it would of been long ago and tonnes of trauma inbetween so would mostly be unable to access it. They made her go through back then because they not get the reaction they wanted from me. We had been prepared and already knew that any hope for the West would not be found in any of its circles of power and that would do anything to destroy us at any age and that was going to be impossible to know the difference between violence that was planned for us anyway and punishment for things we had done. Can't remember what big official institution it was but we do remember thinking the "important types" were themselves and not replacements or stand ins and were relieved because we needed it to come from them, the "real" them. We did our bit. Explained and provided evidence of extremely violent and oppressive practices in and by institutions that were publicl...

Crawled out of our abyss a little today, did some housework, made an easy meal and ate it with Pabs sitting at the table in the kitchen. Getting down to the layers of stuff that happened in hospital last year that actually happened. There was plans to get us to talk about the truth then force ECT on us, didn't happen because knew their plans and made sure someone was there to stop them. We would be dead though or more likely, much much worse if the Israelis hadn't eventually made it in. Thinking about the call we made to some front desk out there, saying we had just taken out a group of truly horrific utterly dead and Satanic women out there that we have needed gone for a long time. We apologized for all the mess we left, warned them that all their materials would still be there and were extremely disturbing, said not to worry about their chips as they had been removed and were destroyed and said something about ourself and our life and the how horrific it has been being ens...

Started thinking about David last night and haven't really slept yet. He was too good to leave us and too good to survive the years that have just passed. We couldn't walk about in Dundee together, espicallay with Pablo passersby would spit and attack us and say antisemitic shit. We can't remember the specifics of who eventually got him but we gotta say Louise Mensch and the Satanic Hollywood Jewish youth but they are too obvious so we gotta say they used a local kid to get him to open the door. What Scotlands children are is not something we could properly get him to understand. But maybe that's all rubbish and they got in and got him down because they still had a lot of serious tech and the forces that would join together to split us up were quite something.. Not the Israeli army so much though as they wanted to know why there solider hadn't checked in and how to get the body back as soon as possible especially after we said they would be doing horrific things ...

Quite rotten mood today. I have no friends here and it makes us sad. We have a mostly cool house to live in though and we have a packet of curlywurly squirlies and do recommend them. Partners never happy whenever they have been able to get the whole "I will still be alone and surrounded at this point" brief. Very heart broken. We knew some of them would pull the mission if they knew had badly we were being treated and how horrendous and hopeless conditions were but we had built up relationships with survivors on Terra we didn't want abandon and questions we wanted answers to. We can't hold back the war because our enemies are still not recognising our rights.. thats the whole reason for the war..I don't know what has reached whom yet but usually we would link our conscious recall to the approx time when certain information reaches certain partners so it's likely those that will act have or are getting what they need to make informed decisions and not be for...

We went outside yesterday. Bus and then walk to get fast food, handled it not too bad to begin with but then started hating it. Poor kid hasn't been allowed to enjoy a maccyds yet without being rushed out of the place because its all full of happy healthy almost always all white people and we know too much empirical history and ongoing intelligence to buy it. It was drizzly and starting to get dark but we walked home through the park anyway we were so glad to be out and away from people. Pabs found a cassette tape of country music near some bins and was fascinated by it espically when we said it was rare to see them these days and was probably from the 1980's .. Their was a kid crying in restaurant though of course schools are off and it was Macdonalds around tea time.. In Dundee once there was a non white family in traditional Islamic dress and we were trying to not stare too much at them partly because it's rude but also because we didnt too look too closely and star...

We were never sure how genuine all the promises were of rewards of we got such and such back to a people or just got it out of the hands of the Satanists. We believed quite a few were genuine but doubted their understanding of what we were up against and how big and bad the big bad picture was. We were doing it anyway they were using it to enslave us and everyone who might be nice to us. The sources of peoples culture and religion the whole sources and not just the sanitized versions and using bits they could pervert as the basis for the ritual abuse was their power. It gave them total control over technology, ideology, science and all aspects of human behavior and psychology. What got us in first was support from very far away who needed something of theirs back and that was when we saw the haul and wept over it for the first time and more or less knew we had to get it all out and help people as much as possible to understand what was lost. Horrible work for a child that cant under...

She came round with a lay on talk about her coming over for a cuppa and helping me clean. Says the lass we blocked for texting us abuse days after we refused to let her come round says hi, no apology for the nasty as fuck texts or anything just "hi" and lots of talk from my supplier about how the other lass is changing. We don't want to be friends with the other lass again and we don't want supplier to help clean the house and we don't want her advice on managing mental health or chronic pain. She had invited us over to hers and we said sure, maybe but the idea filled us with terror and she never texted to push the point so that was fine. I hate the being talked to almost like I am like everyone else we have asked people to analyse it in the past, preferably someone who knew bugger all to say yes everyone does treat and talk to us differently and it's obvious and measurable. We let him on the how people talk about us when we are not there, gave a shit tonne a...

Yesterday we had some decent strength pain killers, the offensively small amount diazepam we fought long and hard and were subjected to all kinds of blatant and subtle slaver talk from GPs to get, got more weed and a bottle of vino as well and wrote most of this. We know there was talk back in Dundee in particular about us slowly starting to engage our brain again. Usually the people who enourage us in this are trained in the procedures involved in the taking the intellectual property, creativity and memory of rich minded slaves so they can throw away the good stuff then hack up anything low brow, remove any diversity and empathy and hand it out to the meat muppets with tax codes and the allowed allowed to be on TV faces. Need the drugs to properly remember and feel, to know we are real, know love is real and to get past all the slaver systems who have tortured us and threatened us into feeling and knowing very little and to share nothing. Need the drugs, the comfort, the lack of an...