Dreams
All settled in. Hedge was cut great to have the top of it done. Food was eaten. As we said the massive meal we were longing for the night before seemed like a preposterous idea at seven this morning. But we got the dude a hot sausage roll and a cinnamon swirl and had decent sausages on a bread roll after he left for school. Stupidly excited waiting for the hedge cutters. They turned up as we actived a talisman in seekers we knew that would make them turn up and it worked. Sun soaked, beer drank and by god the joy in beholding the Scottish flag on boxes of strawberries.. Got two. One for me and one for him and as its the first of the season they are all gone. Old el paso for tea. On offer and the whole meat and veg cooked veg and raw veg are wrapped up and sauced up was a way better than anything that could be delivered here. Stuff arrived a bit late but that here now. Lots of cups of tea and a salts and oils bath, junior went into after us. He needs to was his hair though but we did just hear there that he has runny poo so maybe the listen honey your going have to go in the shower before school thing and its gonna be a thing could avoided tomorrow. We are not fully prepared yet.
Writing that fast cause we wanna talk about one of last nights dreams. Its a recurring location extremely normal one for anxiety dreams for anyone which is why they will have be pushed very hard on us. Also though because its the secondary school officially attended by Louise Elizabeth Johnston and we were in that role and have been left in what became of it and did provide some pretty decent and much needed education at times we can see why we keep going back there.
Big difference this time was that the place was literary crumbling and in ruins. It was mixed with scenes from the fall out games. We were standing on floors that slowly collapsed and saw patches of blue and white skies above us roofs caved in. Pretty sure anyone who suffers from high school related anxiety dreams be they attending one or did so seventy years ago knows deeply why we are not calling this one a nightmare. It was all over.
Everything was gone. It was wonderful.
There was small groups of survivors around fires or making sellters and art out of the debirs and the odd wanderer in the rubble still figuring things out. Some of this and all its bright and cathartic humour and meaningfulness is only coming back now because of the vividness of the large pile of heroin found in one of the walls was shading it. Someone knew who put it there it had been there a while, his nickname back then was Fatty but Shona told us years ago that it was quite so applicable anymore, since he got into heroin.
No seemed all that excited about the heroin it wasn't much use to anyone now. Handy for when painkillers were needed of course a few other things it was left there. Folk helping themselves to a brick or opening one up and just taking what the needed. So glad we are remembering bits and pieces now. Only the non idiots had made it of course and shit they had done with ruins and the crap that was there before was just excellent.
We are already heading into some of the other settings for anxiety dreams that haunt even if we know we won't be going back to that one with anything like its former power. The horridble University campus where we are totally isolated and treated horribly by everyone whilst also owning most of it. Think our teenage shrink said that might be related to us having Jewish heritage and it was so close to everything being all over in a very catastrophic manner but not quite in the way he had be informed it would be.
He was very lucky. Very. And we got a sec to explain to him just how fucking lucky he was it was particularly insane of course in the nineties as I believe we mention. There is also of course the airport, the huge gas station supermarket and the streets with pubs and shops and lots of people dreams. They are changing. We often find Pablo at the end of them and he's fine despite our going somewhere to do something, dissociating and not being able to find our way back to him. He often doing something undescribably weird but he's fine and we feel the anger that isnt ours or his but its deep and big and it's a response to me finding him and finding our way back from elsewhere but we are not remotely scared. We know its already done its worse, its is just a shout now and can't reach us like it did so so many others.
Writing that fast cause we wanna talk about one of last nights dreams. Its a recurring location extremely normal one for anxiety dreams for anyone which is why they will have be pushed very hard on us. Also though because its the secondary school officially attended by Louise Elizabeth Johnston and we were in that role and have been left in what became of it and did provide some pretty decent and much needed education at times we can see why we keep going back there.
Big difference this time was that the place was literary crumbling and in ruins. It was mixed with scenes from the fall out games. We were standing on floors that slowly collapsed and saw patches of blue and white skies above us roofs caved in. Pretty sure anyone who suffers from high school related anxiety dreams be they attending one or did so seventy years ago knows deeply why we are not calling this one a nightmare. It was all over.
Everything was gone. It was wonderful.
There was small groups of survivors around fires or making sellters and art out of the debirs and the odd wanderer in the rubble still figuring things out. Some of this and all its bright and cathartic humour and meaningfulness is only coming back now because of the vividness of the large pile of heroin found in one of the walls was shading it. Someone knew who put it there it had been there a while, his nickname back then was Fatty but Shona told us years ago that it was quite so applicable anymore, since he got into heroin.
No seemed all that excited about the heroin it wasn't much use to anyone now. Handy for when painkillers were needed of course a few other things it was left there. Folk helping themselves to a brick or opening one up and just taking what the needed. So glad we are remembering bits and pieces now. Only the non idiots had made it of course and shit they had done with ruins and the crap that was there before was just excellent.
We are already heading into some of the other settings for anxiety dreams that haunt even if we know we won't be going back to that one with anything like its former power. The horridble University campus where we are totally isolated and treated horribly by everyone whilst also owning most of it. Think our teenage shrink said that might be related to us having Jewish heritage and it was so close to everything being all over in a very catastrophic manner but not quite in the way he had be informed it would be.
He was very lucky. Very. And we got a sec to explain to him just how fucking lucky he was it was particularly insane of course in the nineties as I believe we mention. There is also of course the airport, the huge gas station supermarket and the streets with pubs and shops and lots of people dreams. They are changing. We often find Pablo at the end of them and he's fine despite our going somewhere to do something, dissociating and not being able to find our way back to him. He often doing something undescribably weird but he's fine and we feel the anger that isnt ours or his but its deep and big and it's a response to me finding him and finding our way back from elsewhere but we are not remotely scared. We know its already done its worse, its is just a shout now and can't reach us like it did so so many others.
