None
No baccy, no tablet, no bread and no tea bags now either and of course no support and no weed.. according to pill packet we missed a day which will be why we are yucky and sore. Started using Pabs old fire kindle but its crazy short on memory we need some distraction. Ran out of batteries for the xbox last week to so pretty fucking grim. Cant see us not buying as soon as we can this time, went several days last time before nightmares and isolation and heartbreak had us reaching for anything we could grab and all we can grab is baccy, from a shop.
Gardened today, to keep us distracted because it was sunny and because pain wasnt at levels that stops everything. Horrible having to stop at though knowing we couldn’t just munch and keep going, knowing we couldn’t keep dodging the tears. Pablo suggested a board game and we were reluctant but it was actually a really good idea, played the one he picked enough to not get overwhelmed and super stressed over the rules. He wasnt happy about loosing though.
Kind of lost it with him for eating all the lurpak but seriously he goes through it like its diluting juice and it fucking isn’t diluting juice its not cheap, its pure fat and it can make the difference between a meal thats edible and enjoyable and one that isnt. When hes got bagels he basically fills the hole with it. Have tried to show him a more appropriate amount to spread but he just does the whole, “i try, im not good at it” bs.
Maybe tomorrow the cravings will have backed of a bit. Dunno though. Its gonna be severely grim anyway, theres a bit of milk and coffee and some tins and stuff left over from the food bank but we are both pretty fussy at least he will get fed at school. I will have some weetabix and have ago at the monster shrub again. Might take next door up on offer to borrow tools. Later on will have to give tins a go and pablo will have to try the pasta thing with cheap spready stuff since he went so fast through the butter despite being repeatedly told not to.
The form that might help us get more is off though. Still cant get over that six week without anything or pay it all back in a year and we dont care is you were on severely disabled rate ESA and have no support or if you live with several full time wag earners. Pablo keeps track of how much longer we have to go before we get our £80 a month back. Almost half way through all ready!
Sure the cravins are way worse than last time, man we could snap necks just because they’re there without caring who put them there. Have wished often we werent too proud to rob and steal just for ourself maybe it will change, wont wanna go there without confidence in our skills. Fucking useless perfectionism. Why dont we just take what we need? What the fuck are we waiting for? Justice?? Seriously?!? Its gonna go from us being 100% denied and disrespected to acknowledged and compensated in what weeks? Months? There is no fucking science and no putrid script for that. None. So it cant happen.
Gonna do our best with our new garden patches and remenber how it feels to see beautiful flowers and think “ we did that”. And we will share pics when it gets good. Unless of course we get wisked away and have to start again somewhere else or be way to busy for gardening.
In the meantime it just hurts though.
Gardened today, to keep us distracted because it was sunny and because pain wasnt at levels that stops everything. Horrible having to stop at though knowing we couldn’t just munch and keep going, knowing we couldn’t keep dodging the tears. Pablo suggested a board game and we were reluctant but it was actually a really good idea, played the one he picked enough to not get overwhelmed and super stressed over the rules. He wasnt happy about loosing though.
Kind of lost it with him for eating all the lurpak but seriously he goes through it like its diluting juice and it fucking isn’t diluting juice its not cheap, its pure fat and it can make the difference between a meal thats edible and enjoyable and one that isnt. When hes got bagels he basically fills the hole with it. Have tried to show him a more appropriate amount to spread but he just does the whole, “i try, im not good at it” bs.
Maybe tomorrow the cravings will have backed of a bit. Dunno though. Its gonna be severely grim anyway, theres a bit of milk and coffee and some tins and stuff left over from the food bank but we are both pretty fussy at least he will get fed at school. I will have some weetabix and have ago at the monster shrub again. Might take next door up on offer to borrow tools. Later on will have to give tins a go and pablo will have to try the pasta thing with cheap spready stuff since he went so fast through the butter despite being repeatedly told not to.
The form that might help us get more is off though. Still cant get over that six week without anything or pay it all back in a year and we dont care is you were on severely disabled rate ESA and have no support or if you live with several full time wag earners. Pablo keeps track of how much longer we have to go before we get our £80 a month back. Almost half way through all ready!
Sure the cravins are way worse than last time, man we could snap necks just because they’re there without caring who put them there. Have wished often we werent too proud to rob and steal just for ourself maybe it will change, wont wanna go there without confidence in our skills. Fucking useless perfectionism. Why dont we just take what we need? What the fuck are we waiting for? Justice?? Seriously?!? Its gonna go from us being 100% denied and disrespected to acknowledged and compensated in what weeks? Months? There is no fucking science and no putrid script for that. None. So it cant happen.
Gonna do our best with our new garden patches and remenber how it feels to see beautiful flowers and think “ we did that”. And we will share pics when it gets good. Unless of course we get wisked away and have to start again somewhere else or be way to busy for gardening.
In the meantime it just hurts though.
