April 10, 2011

Place is still a mess but chatted with a neighbour.

Beautiful day again, still a bit messed up with pain to catch much but spent time with neighbour who was sitting out the back when I eventuly got round to taking bins out. She was telling me about goimg to a spiritualist, her daughter, local kids and ghosts in the building. I'm supposed to be good at that stuff but I rarely pick up on anyone. The presence of the 'not supposed to' spirit is usually to prominant. Which means I cant control it and don't know what's happening to me. Auchswitz gave me seizures, thrashing about on cold wet concrete soaking it all up eyes fixating on shiny shoes. I can't speak to the dead there is too many of them and its too comfortable, knowing how powerless they are.

would be on match.com already if had two pounds in my bank can you believe that? But at least I know now to phone up and see what I get offered rather than just paying online. I am genuinly excited about it, interaction with the opposite sex! no pressures I dont have to meet them. Still attention though, safe attention oh my...

book sudenly raising its bones is pretty exciting, extremely exciting even. So relived I can go over old notes with some structure in mind and the life the writing will take of when I get going to. I think sanity wise I need the studying but I wont be attempting to take it as seriously as I have been doing. Focus almost totally on the stuff that really speaks to me just aim to pass everything else. Courses are far to dense few people can master it all in the time given. There is not nearly enough encouragment for people to make their own way, too much authority.

Just realised I only actualy have one essay due this month, just as well as the text books have gotten a bit buried. Beckett next wahay, maybe it will get over 65%! Whatever. Their theory is so tipid I can't get into it, it's not a play about a play though it's philosophical it about life and modernism. I can forgive myself if I cant find the energy to argue that succicently enough for them.
xx talk to soon badboy24 ...