April 08, 2011


didn't take dude out today even though the weather was nice, still haven't properly cleaned the kitchen either which is starting to become urgent. Too much pain and mario kart playin.

Mario Kart Wii with Wii Wheel
Until the batteries ran out.

A little help from a friend encouraged a bit of streching. Thinking about forgetting about mental health and think more about physical. I sit and smoke worrying about it when I've got neglected asthma. Not clever. Good to work some of the tension and bad fat from me. It makes me feel so vunrable, the inhalers: brown twice morning and night (essential), blue when necessary, Antidepressant, antipsychotic, vitamins, oils. And of course there is there really loud voice in my head screaming about women with infections and no pencilin, money paid to scum bags for drugs that are basicaly poison and a million other horrible things going on because people don't have access to proper medicines. I think about what I've gone through that could have been made so much better with an easily accessable med and what I went through because of easily available meds. Overdoses, and other misuses 'I used to stare at the words 'for external use only' words on labels for ages growing up, I've only recently stopped. I used to try and recognise it in different languages, it really helped my translating skills.

Beth Orton '...you can not reap what you cannot sow.'

Anyhow, sleep, please. Clean bedding and everything, even if the duvet cover did get a bit grubby when it fell of the railing onto the veranda floor. It still has that fresh air smell..
gotta phone the tribunal people for a copy of the decision. Wasn't up for accepting one from the lovely earnest clerk - had to cry in the toilet then drink Guiness. Debts. Bastard debt. could be worse..