June 03, 2011

Do people need to know Ultra never ended?

The drive is always there, people need to know that their governments were involved in thr ritual torture and the development of trailored programes of rape, humilation and truama of babies, children and adults in order to produce killing machines. Most people probably already have their indifferent suspicions about governments and organised crime networks.

I think the fist time I heard about Mk Ultra was in a forest in the glen in the middle of the night. I think I was running from the incest, when someone from secret service sat me down and tried to explain it all. I didn't bother listening much, but I remember the trees against the sky when the moon wasn't covered with clouds and sitting on the pine needles in my pygamas. I hated nighties, rubbish for running away in. He was kind of distant, drugged probably, his words and eyes would drift of then come back like someone woke him up. The acutal words though, I think I keep them to my self because I know people are desperate to hear them even is they choose not to buy it. 'You have to give more details', 'Fuck of'.....

No reply for pac lookalike this the polite 'my mum says i have to say thanks for having me' email. Oh well, I was late, I forgot to clean my nails, I took him to Macdonalds. I think he tried but the language barrier and the single momhood got in the way. I would of been prepared to give it a bit more time. But he was very serious, didn't make to many jokes, didn't quite know how to go with flow, and maybe thought we were plebs... I'm glad he saw me truthfully, I be terrifeid if I got all dressed up and fronted up and wanted to know more. Being accepted as what you are thats a turn on.

Got a smile on pinksofa, wahay! She likes my profile, I tried not to sound too grateful but probably failed. I hate all that generic 'how r u' list of hobbies bullshit, so I try and show my sense of humout strainght away. Isn't working so far, but I've spent far more time with people I don't like that anyone can and still remain sane.

Saw the weather forecast last night and was all up for shaving my legs untill I tried to get into last years shorts. Long winter and those meds have contributed to me being 2 stone heavier than I was when I was working. The worst thing is none of my clothes fit anymore. I hate clothes shopping, no money and I'm rubbish at knowing what to buy. Things don't fit but I can't be arsed to take them back. Anyway, think theres more pizza left...

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