June 07, 2011

I can walk again soon..

Because tomorrow my new watch/mps player/phone will arrive. Mum says she can't walk without a dog, I think dogs are a hassle, give me music. It provides an essential soundtrack to whatever memory lane I end up triping down. I'm sure there was less to my theighs when I woke up this morning, either way its still bloody uncomfortable walking anywhere at any kind of pace and that is no good.

Exchange genial words with a women I used to speak to on pinksofa, proper dyke. I love proper dyke but not really like that though.

So my dad has made my mums move easier for her by belting her. The radio thing. I think I've been in similiar situations but it hasn't got that far, or since my teens anyway. If he's really really pissed of when he staggers upstairs gutted he turns his radio up extremly loud. It rattles the whole house, so a reasonable action is to turn it down or off. Giving him the excuse of getting up and starting something. He has definitly forced his way into my room and excused me of it when no one has been near his fucking radio. Harldy a suprise for me, although it has brought back memories of him admiting the incest and refusing to admit to anyone else about it. Asked 'what about my sister' but it was too open a question. I didn't know if he was reacting to me saying that I knew what he did to her or at me telling him she did me to. It was not long after I had moved back, when I had the tolerance for him to sit and listen to the drunken puddle of a man and try and take out of it whatever I could. Any admission, anything I might be able to say to him to make him a bit less of a useless ignorant cunt. And drink his wine, christ he took enough from me. It felt good to not be trying to be pure. I had a 4 month old asleep upstairs I will take what we need.