always be your Rosie

Ug Daddy it's just too difficult! It's good we've started and have done some important work the ideas we have the whole idea itself of trying to explain the blog is great but we can't do it all by our selves. We just keep hitting the walls that cover so much. There is diffintly a bit of "the whole point of my is that I'm constantly worked really hard even if it really hurts us" going on and thats another reason why we need to leave it for now.

What do we do though Daddy? Games on the phone and tablet yeah we do really get into them this now when we seem to be avoided the tv and the consoles. We could tell you what we have done so far! We got a picture we did last year of a shaking rough drawing looking down on hands over legs sitting on the edge of a bed and the words "When her eyes opened there was nothing left." and we started writing about how the rings use dissociation and amnesia on kids born into it and those they steal to take away any sense of any other life or hope and make the slavery seem normal. We were thinking about some colonial quote but couldn't remember enough of it to find it we think it is about having to destroy the rich cultures and history of India in order to subject it. It was the frustration with this that got us to realise we just torturing and shoulding all over our self..

All that time when comfort and rest and silly fun past times were impossible and prevented we need to just focus on that and accept it's going to be tricky because it's never been possible before. If we wanted to appear to be relaxing then we had to appear to be something other than who and what we are.. Thats gonna take some undoing after all these years..

It's sinking in again though. We are not alone. You can write the rest of it up in organised coherent manner you can do grammar way better than any of us anyway and we can just babble away if and when it pleases us .. we are not working any more, not work forced on us by slavers or work the slavery forces us to do to survive and the work we had to do to help those we could and for the chance of a world without slavery anywhere.

We will have lives for one of the games now.. one we are playing on the tablet is so pretty and damn hard but its been hard drawn and its gorgeous. It's skint week. We reset skint week and having to get support from Niall considerably but are getting on with Niall and Pabs and ourself easier so that makes everything that little less unpleasant but there is just no forgeting the situation we are in and how they put us here even if specific horrors and details arn't around we have plenty senses and inklings. We really feel the benefit of the all the foul details getting out. We just don't feel so pressed down.. its all making other people puke now and that gives us palpable relief..

Love you and miss you forever,
Rosie xxxx 

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