August 07, 2017

Monday

It's not just the antidepressants and the weed honey. It's cause you love us.

We are playing silly surgery game on phone in bed an we feel lovely, lovely and little and close to you. We get double rewards on the game if we watch ads so we are writing this when they are on! Everything feels real and not in an unreal when it feels like all that matters is the evil but in a real and going to be okay kind of way.

..

Pal been round so there's been wine and got more weed. She was the one that had to do the fetching. We were obvs giving it a point blank refusal and apoliesing while not providing any explanation. She did it though. Bless her. We doing silly surgery and half thinking about non silly surgeries.. sometimes almost all thinking.

..

It's still there. That happy sighing and inner peace and hope. Still additied to the silly surgery and the processing, love it the way games can trigger and distract at the same time and when you are aware and strong enough you really feel like you are moving through stuff. We do anyway.

Fucking twitter though. They don't get how many of them are MAGA hat wearing, Russian speaking white male power tools even though they think they are the opposite. And of course all the scum that know they are involved nasty shit.. and not much else..

We are your girl. We will always be your girl. We want to write lots of what we are remembering to show you we remember we also just want to enjoy them and feeling wholer without being anxious that we have to get them down before parts change and we loose them. There's all the "you will never speak of this" from lots and lots of scumbags who need no truth of me or you or us and where we come from to ever be known but we also don't want to write about really important stuff just because we can and we have been told over over not to.

So many think their worries are over when they are only just beginning and there no small comfort in that..

Cant wait.

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