August 29, 2017

Normal

Wow spliffs really arn't good for the tougue fungus (Tungus as named by Pabs).. Got the drops though. We noticed we often hold whatever we are drinking in our mouth before swallowing and its gets worse the worse we feel and have wondered about its horrendous origins, thinking today and yesterday though that its been little with awful untreated oral thrush and trying to soothe the discomfort.. Poor littles, poor us's. Its just one of they many varying but pretty much constant "this is just how it is here" discomforts that we have to notice and address. It's daunting but a lot of work was begun long ago. We had been taught how to remember and recognise any help and support available most didn't get that so they really had no notions of anything different. Sometimes I would show them but my friends didn't let me much because it broke my heart when they chose evil because it was what they knew even when they knew there was somewhere else.

Even my friends for all the knowledge and skills could not predict what was done with any information we shared but we had been warned about that by others they were more serious, no sense of humour at all and we secretly made it one of missions to find it in them.. It worked and saved them because no one believed they were the same people and they learned how dumb they were and we told them all about the slavery.

It has had its uses though, our moulds and the people who claim never to have met me never mind done me any physical harm or forced sexual contact. Yuck.

Everyday. They get a little closer and its one day less of this shit to get through.

We have got a lot of good notes about what we want to say about this blog, is all about the why and how but we are stuck a bit with issues over when it began, Sonny's pregnancy and birth and long and short term horrificness that are we mostly still amnesiac off. We remembered him saying last year he wanted a new name and not his abuse ring one and as he was approaching and he was our husband and the kid is our son we said "Tupac" there was lots of giggling and brushing and pride from them both and us. We said it would depend where we end up if he could use that name publicly/officially. He just kept smiling. So did his Dad. We felt so much peace, we had never felt peace like that before.

We might see how we go with what we have written tomorrow though. Or maybe not.. :-)