February 29, 2016

Course i cant trust ma therapist dad you do know im still a slave yeah?

We do try and write for other people its not like we arnt thinking about them. You. But we are just to little and want our Daddy. We cant remember much Mummies, beyond the ones mentioned and a few others, like Leigh. Its Daddy we have always missed the most until we found out how it feels to miss your own babies when you know they are not loved and safe. It made us wonder how he survived what they did to us.

We staying little. One of those oh we are taking a day off days and that's fine. This is a crying all the time little state so we gonna try hold on to it. I don't know how long she was seeing Elaine for. I think but in don't know cause we were awful state during the last phone call that she said she wasn't going to stop supporting Elaine when we cried because she is sounded so much like her and that's soo triggering of course. Trying victims that they are supporting their abusers, not even attempting a safe space. We worried a lot about shrinks safety with all the ring scum she was supporting and that is defo the word she would use 'supporting' told her not to leave something she was drinking unattended with Elaine in the room. We worried cause she was never going to be able to help us even a little bit if she is engaged with all the lies the abusers telling us. But she made so much sense sometimes!!

Pfft. All done for us now. No being more being so raped we drinking with people who hurt all our babies. Or seeing therapists we know are all groomed and programmed to hurt us and keep us isolated. Elaine and abusers like that they not going to shrinks to get help. Shrink so threatened got career, friends, car, nice house she got stuff to loose. We don't our "no option" it's really different? Why could she not say she couldn't talk about other clients. Why she say she stop seeing Anthony and tell other shrinks not to see him but make commitments to Elaine. She the victim coz she female? Stoopid shrink.

I got doctors appointment so gotta leave meeting after half an hour. We don't but that's what we gotta say at meeting with school tomorrow. Otherwise it will go on and on and we will be disappearing and screaming inside. This ridiculous Daddy.

OK little not distraught little. We OK. Not forever either. Sigh. Love you love you love you..