February 28, 2016

Victory over the towels at last.

I'm actually feeling OK. We wanted to tell you because we know mostly we are not and really far from it. Have started sending him to his room an hour early on Sundays to give us back the time taken off us on Saturdays.. Makes a big deference for a little thing. An hour more of having no screen related dramas. He told me I always do that when we said he couldn't watch until the end of the video. We never do that except before school. Forced him outside into the garden for a little while to pick weeds and to ease our conscience over all the time he spends indoors. He often gets into whatever it is when we force him to do something after the denial and the bargaining. He said at tea he wanted to be sciencey witch. He was thinking Minecraft potions but we loved it anyway.  You can see he likes being helpful. He made himself weetabix for supper then put the bowl next to the sink (space there makes it easier for him of course) and he objected when we took the bin in after saying it was his job..

Actually doing a better job of going through all the remaining small stuff. Lessons from Hoarders. There are two of us. We don't need so many towels. More towels mean more washing things to lie on the floor chuck them out and admit it when they are trigger soaked. Always admit we cant replace fucking everything yesterday. The knowing but not knowing is not like it has been. We hear and see ourself and others crying in such horrific conditions. Its our body. Its good that its not in that much danger or pain where we can do that. Its not doing it because of ongoing rape and all sorts of other abuse like it was in Dundee.

God we need to mostly stay off twitter. People are unsatisfactory. They really are. Its good that they don't any idea where we are coming from of course. We need to be building bridges internally not reminding ourself that most peoples writing fades out and back into a big wall that we arnt allowed on the other side of because we are who we are. Bloody grammar excludes us. Its shit. I'm not a she. I'm not a he. I am a We.

Fucks sake we were all positive cause we did lots of different little things including napping! And eating. Twice! Not including the hobnob.

Appointments this week and next I guess they will be whatever they will be. Hope the momentum doesn't collapse as it often does particularly of course if we badly over do it. We are kind of confident in a sleepy kind of way. Yeah we will remember our meds and inhaler.