June 23, 2017

no melanin in scar tissue

Thank fuck there is another week. Another week where we can hide in Skyrim when he's at school, think I'm going to get married this time, been building my second manor bit disappointed the plans are so limited but we have beds for the kids this time, a trophy room and a kitchen which isn't in our other place. How can you not get into all the buying and building of Skyrim abodes? The guards were talking about the Solitude house and that is the best as far as we remember with most in it and the most floors.. The only place we have never owned is in Windhelm because we ended up with Stormcloaks and are not about to deliver the axe which would result in an attack being lauched on the place where you get your first home, even if we do have somewhere to take the kids..

Refusing to take it off Expert mode we put it on when we first started the new edition and it was so easy and had forgot how hard loads of it is once you get going. So we die a lot. Then try various different approaches and die some more. We don't want to get into mindlessly playing, it will trigger and we won't necessarily notice.  Am looking forward to choosing which of the warrior women who said they were interested in me I will marry.. never did that when we played before.

The garden is lovely, we are waiting on more wood to put in levels at the steps but the rose and one planter of the violas is horribly infested with little beasties. We will look at some organic solutions first I think.. There is another fairy coming to.. One we really liked became available, it's under a tenner..

We are really hurting though. We had to choose between not feeling what we felt which was us distancing ourself from us and meant them getting what they want or let ourself acknowledge how we felt about those babies even though we knew they would use that to destroy us. Violence. That's how it works when its being used to oppress.

We had managed to not be there enough for the others but when they brought him in because we couldn't not be present around him we knew we were even more doomed than we already had been.   There wasn't anyone who had any access to either of us that wasn't horrific and the even though they knew nothing their proximity to those that do has poisoned all possible relationships here, just as it was designed to.

We just feel like scar tissue.