He's not in school today. Its less the time in class or the playground that scares us as much as the walk there and back, too many people too many cars, our attention and focus all over the fucking place. A security nightmare. Its been ages since anyone told us we are not alone and their are tonnes of really violent people with motives to shut us down. Too many specific threats from Dundee and when they weren't getting to us, from higher ups further away, organised crime, American & British Establishment cutting out the middlemen. Sir our existence to date excludes any faith in the validity of the justice system we focus our efforts on gathering and sharing information such as phone calls like this..
Specific horrific threats not just about today of course. Jacqui for one listed them, possible attacks covering this time. Even if we arw physically safe enough we can't force ourself to go through the fear and the chills and the not knowing alone. We are acknowledging and communicating better but not enough to feel strong in face of the memory of a time when so many people in our life told us, all of us but it works best with the physically weaker littles of course that Pabs was going to be murdered.
We are not sharing internally how much we know about them saying the same thing to him to. Its what they do. Child abusers tell kids and adults who stand up to them that they going to kill them. Something they say lots and sometimes do.
How can we describe how it feels to have proved to the relevant authorities that you and your children are being raped and they are making threats against our lives but the abusers are still free to work with the vulnerable. Still free to support abuse. Still free to be a trusted professional on who is and isnt safe around children and free to assault those children themselves.
Can't imagine how it must feel to be employed as a relevant authority who isnt already completely cynical and to see colleagues and superiors and the entire system as something of a very different nature than the public face.
That thing with the sensory depravation, the starvation and the constant rape in the Todd's flat, Skene and other domestic locations was up and down the country, tried all across the world. Warehouses in Jersey, military aircraft hangers in England, Canada, as well as here and States of course. It was on our mind after August 14 when we were trying to not let them win in regards to us speaking to Jersey inquiry. The dreams about whole communities being transported in horrible ways we had been having before the phonecall with the inquiry when we tried to add to the parts that made a statement days before Laura, Anna, and a lot of other people died.
Like we could see the Jersey Inquiry exposing the extent of the trafficking of children for rape nevermind expose a international network experimenting on a massive scale to make people 100% meat puppet for their own schemes and for profit from anyone who wanted any kind of slave or the even bigger network of people produced and placed to keep it all protected and safe.
Christ is was good too see the faces at times when their hold over the media might be undermined or that a world is even possible where their hold over "normal" and "possible" could be questioned. Keeping peoples intelligence, their ability to think critically, to have confidence in their own flesh annihilated is a core aim of it all and lots of people worked hard coming up with ideas and implementing them both in terms of torturing bodies and through their control over media, culture and state actors.
They seemed to think that when we are away from the warehouses and domestic locations if they mention anything about all those times we would wither away but often we just get disgusted and angry. We did our best to explain to her how it was quite obvious who was the victim of that shit and who was surviving. Who really had been brain damaged in a way that made it impossible to survive without the support of the network. Don't think we got any further than her than we did with Elaine or Deek or Lynne or any other full time abuser. Fully committed at a very young age and they have no inclination to go back far enough and deep enough to question or challenge it. Their comfort zone is keeping other people in discomfort they do not have protective instincts towards children but they can be good at emulating them.
(Code - Where the fuck are our guns?)