March 02, 2016

Yeah probs be on the Demon Headmaster shrink for a while..

In her own words she was just doing a job there are no abuser parts she would say. We were constantly second guessing how much she knew about what she was doing. We still are but as we are not sitting in that room or making that journey its not quite so pressing. Its what the rings do, make sure their abusers are looked after while setting out to destroy any sign of hope in the victims. She would get frustrated whenever we tried to explain how much she had endanger lives and the people she was telling me was trying to support were active. Sometimes it was like she expected us to just accept she was going to engage with traffickers, our traffickers and tell me what they were saying lies and horrific triggers because she expects us to believe they have treatable DID.

She was required to produce reports against us and our attempts at contributing to inquires and in support of rape and child abuse addicts for whatever they may require whilst doing there best to undermine us during times that were near fatal to me and various bairns and that is what she did. Its angered a lot of people. Really contributed to a lot of damage done and being done to a lot of people, a lot of growing or desperate to heal minds and bodies. There were times when she would say she understood they were too damaged and she was unqualified to deal with but then she would swing back again. Start trying to direct sessions, mention names or events, imply people were safe or dangerous, literally repeating the justifications used by our longterm local very serious abusers as clinical explanations. Trying to persuade us they had no choice they were so programmed which was to fit in with they "there's nothing you can do your going to die" programming we were getting from the same people she was either seeing as clients or because they were professionals like police she was in talks with. Sometimes saying directing that so and so wasn't and abuser or that she didn't believe some gang rape happened if it involved her other clients.

It was proper demon headmaster stuff and walked away from many sessions shaking our head thinking she has no idea what she is dealing with in us and neither do they. Before switching or dissociating of course because we would be on the street by then and can feel all the eyes on us, brain smog. Hate the isolation makes it impossible to forget our place in UK society.

And now we go back to be littles that don't worry about tomorrow. They are just so glad to be able to start to feel again. They are amazing they just keep coming back.

We feel all the insides of our skin. Our feat, our legs, our head our hands our everything and they are warm and safe and remind me of good peoples. That's our job.