July 02, 2017

Too many cooks

Too much cloud and wind taking away any lasting warmth out there and we are feeling to weak to get anything done out there.  Shitty sweaty dreams. I'm sure their was a butterfly at some point, we are interpreting that as positive. Heading into skint week with nothing left over doesn't bloody help but we did what we could to make ourself feel better when we could. Washing has been brought in, out and more in the machine but its hard to escape the sense of floudering. We don't been the same can't go any where because of our mental health its can't go anywhere because it's not safe and we have nothing but horrible memories out there..We are bored and we hate it.

Our new pal will help but the schools are off so we have lost our sense of freedom and peace for the littles and others when he is at school and as always they are very anxious about how its going to be and how they are going to cope with him being around with no one to help us with him twenty four seven.

Positives. As fucked up as they are. To remember stuff like weeping in gratitude when someone gave us stitches down there whilst using a local without leaving is a very important step. Our regiment of sisters, the twins, Pac, a real sense of real events across our systems which generally means there is a spread of a real sense of real events across external systems to. There is a partial sense of what it took to get us here, still owned by sickos and controlled by their minions across police, media, politics, public institutions publishing what we are publishing. We have the sense that comes from knowing it would of been decades of fighting for it and we have the sense of the exhaustion and the noise we made when some of our efforts were realised.

But the whole point about supremacy is that is not about being based on facts or rationality, its point is that it is self justifying so lose of forces that were protecting them if not something most of them will be aware of or understand in any way. It was never the external rails they were trained to abide it was the internal ones and those that do know a bit about how much they have lost are not worried because they are so confident it everything they have already achieved and the human potentials they have destroyed or limited. They got what they wanted us saying we were giving up but we knew we could only truthfully say that because we were retiring and handing over to everyone else and we had integrated enough so the little they were interrogating trusted the rest of us and knew how to not to say.

There is no way they could all fuck up. Surely.




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