July 14, 2017

Wonder if we will do a better job today at leaving the house or gardening? Or not hating ourself for not doing stuff.

Well not doing stuff, not yet anyway.

My God. What a state. Those poor babies. A mean what woman doesn't fantasy about trussed up like a royal show pony to display their newborns like they are pieces of bling. Wow they look so safe, respected and cared for.. wish it was me and mine.. Gotta be grateful its not a exhausted, messy hair, sleeping newborns, smiling parents shot that would of got to us more because it so normal, so hard to reject and but so impossible for us.

You'll be struggling.  Scum bags having preparing us for this forever and its underestimated how much we knew, understood, was embedded in the higher levels of all this shit so we didn't see people as the terrifying hate filled gangs out to get us we saw absent meat puppets that had no idea what they were doing and were incapable of registering never mind acting on the strings or the string pullers.

We remember people trying to force us to get trussed up to for a video, all that usual you should of grown out of fighting back but now talk, a few folk around with their heads down and doing nowt. We were post pubescent and trapped as a little and the shame of it is supposed to make you do what your told but we would rather that shame than what we would have to do to ourself to perform like they were demanding. I don't know if they got it out of us in the end that day or not.

They truly have everything they were told they were going to get and they didn't/couldn't care about the what happens next when they did as they were meant to and made the deals they made. We knew everyone seemed to be basing their presents and futures on stuff that we knew was impossible and not going to happen but any presence in anyone at all and you are going to know that people involved in all that horror stuff are not to be believed but you need presence for that and it was set up to make that near impossible.

Hope your taking it easy. Hope even more that we hear from you soon.