Just ticking those lists of like its one of our huge, trans global military ops

Quite nervous of taking the sleepers. We don't feel at all familiar with what this particular one will do to our system. We are very familiar with how we will feel if we dont get plenty sleep and have to tonnes of shit to do.

Glad the lad is sleeping at night again. Two nights in a row hes been crashed before 10 pm. Good stuff cause he's going be pulling his weight tomorrow. Well maybe not his whole weight he's only eleven and his next shoes are going to be size 10 or above... Gonna have to kit him out for new school.. Gonna have to find out at least one aspect of the benefit change over and us in a bit more concrete way. Its a definite source of a lot of health fucking up anxiety not knowing. Also know we wont get far and will cry if we can't figure out exactly what we need to know and how to ask it before hand.

We've done well but we have known at various stages we had no option but to push ourselves and past the point where we knew we were gonna manage comfortably, not need days to recover, feel awful, over worry then be too anxious to plan properly, then get iller .. But there wasn't any other way and its not long now until there will so much less things that must be done and more things we can easily manage and enjoy.

Am actually quite organised and calm about the move. That little bit at time for over a month or so really is a much better way to do it. Who knew? Lol. So much pride at all the big and little, light and heavy steps over the years its taken to clear out the cupboards, see the huge pile of broken furniture and other stuff from the shed, gone. We get a real sense of so many easy little, creative and fun, physically exhausting but rewarding or just really really  painful steps there has been with the house and it's contents over all the years.

Wish meds weren't such and issue we wouldn't get so bad and not snow balling and everything worsening.

Should probs give the meds a chance and by not sittin up writing, battery is low : ( Still nervous about pills but also don't want to happily burn through weed in a few hours that could do us days if we can only smoke outside and have loads to do. In a new smaller pretty smoking area, glass of wine and a pair of gloves most likely.. Saying hi and maybe a neighbourly chat if any of the neighbours pass by. They are unlikely to be out long in November December and neither am I :-) Weed its awfully woody - sticky in bad way as I'm probs gonna end up with a gram or so of teeny tiny kindling and would of preferred something a gram of something actually smokeable, it would go lone way..

Nothing major uncomfortable unpredictable or extreme reactions so far. One more small cannabis cig then we have a go a letting go, there be lots of energy to play on the silly games and drink tea when we first wake up, no need to instantly such doing anything else, except order/encourage/blackmail/bribe the pubescent, maybe put washing loads in or out, Maybe the little arty jobs to start with later, good pile of bubbll wrap and tape for canvas prints, should be cool knowing they will make the journey.

Glad we spent a little so we would have nice parcels arriving in the days after arriving. Even if we won't have a cooker.. Still paranoid about benefits not going in but not as much has the clearance is paid for as well as first months rent.

Okay I'm gonna let go know and try relax. Sent an email so it would be there in the morning when we sleep in. Gonna brush teeth, take inhaler.. And let go maybe with some Spotify chill stuff. We can do this.. Sleep is essential, we see our brain more and that's cool..

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