Stress = Pain = Stress = Pain
So sore. Slept last night but we messed up by putting the new address on the application gonna have to log back in an change it. Got prove who im not appointment though eventually might even go through in time so we dont have to fill out form again. Its all very exhausting and heartbreaking and we just cry so much. Image from dream amongst all the nastiness and abuser family, a leaky roof, water pouring in, not good you would think but we were planting seeds and they needed watering. So very us.
Wish we could handle all the stress and pain better but we clearly can’t. Like we said forever this is worst case scenario but people to wrapped up in not being themselves and believing suits and others with trappings and symbols of power, authority and appropriateness when all evidence shows their fascist slavers and believing them helped them destroy all resistance. Wish we hadnt lost our living Daddy, wish we never felt he was Daddy would hurt so much less. It too late to go back now. Really miss what could of been.
Would of saved myself a lot of grief if i hadnt tried to make things easier on myself by sorting out the application before the move. Now im all freakin coz i made an appointment i cant go to and wont be able to flit if they stop my benefits and the loan that isnt in yet and we only got £10 left. Left a note in the “journal” cant cope with anymore calls anyway. Friggin system is bad enough without fuck ups at user end. Will get to cute little flat. Just gonna be really stressful and painful and exhausting till then and a while after.
:-(
Feel so yuck
Missed out a stage in that title, the cycle includes pain = stress = bad decisions = stress etc
..
I order pizza for the big boy cant go out there, chips to i will be able to eat some of them. Wish loan was in getting so worried it wont come cause started the universal credit application, what if they wont let me not go on Monday. Stupid hurty brain going of and made appointment when would of stopped and calm down if wasnt all over tired and in so much soreness. Worried about paying rent and worried about benefits stopping so we cant pay removals. Pabs says dont worry it will be fine and gives us his favourite blanket cause we cold. Hes such a good boy. Wish we werent so squished and little for him and us. Hope we make better decisions tomorrow and our work capability form got in. It should of. We maybe try phone if we can to say we cant do Monday if we dont get reply. In mean time gonna eat chips, drink wine left from yesterday and play on tablet. Not gonna try reading we to little for that! Sophie can wait we get back to her soon.
Would of saved myself a lot of grief if i hadnt tried to make things easier on myself by sorting out the application before the move. Now im all freakin coz i made an appointment i cant go to and wont be able to flit if they stop my benefits and the loan that isnt in yet and we only got £10 left. Left a note in the “journal” cant cope with anymore calls anyway. Friggin system is bad enough without fuck ups at user end. Will get to cute little flat. Just gonna be really stressful and painful and exhausting till then and a while after.
:-(
Feel so yuck
Missed out a stage in that title, the cycle includes pain = stress = bad decisions = stress etc
..
I order pizza for the big boy cant go out there, chips to i will be able to eat some of them. Wish loan was in getting so worried it wont come cause started the universal credit application, what if they wont let me not go on Monday. Stupid hurty brain going of and made appointment when would of stopped and calm down if wasnt all over tired and in so much soreness. Worried about paying rent and worried about benefits stopping so we cant pay removals. Pabs says dont worry it will be fine and gives us his favourite blanket cause we cold. Hes such a good boy. Wish we werent so squished and little for him and us. Hope we make better decisions tomorrow and our work capability form got in. It should of. We maybe try phone if we can to say we cant do Monday if we dont get reply. In mean time gonna eat chips, drink wine left from yesterday and play on tablet. Not gonna try reading we to little for that! Sophie can wait we get back to her soon.
