September 13, 2017

*laughter* no I'm sorry but we will never stop saying thank you about those chemical plants..

Doubt we will go far from our cozy space today. Fairly sketched a lot of the missing pieces from my slave head over the past few months and that means there is much less anxiety being caused by the intentional triggering of things we are programmed to be too phobic to deal with. There is still plenty slave related anxieties but we have a growing sense of what we are, where we have been, who matters most now we are not entirely devoted to figuring out ways to survive and keep others alive through attacks and captures before they happened. So much manipulating our own and others DID in order stay alive, keep others alive, to keep rapists as dumb as possible.  So much of that was horrible and we could not of done it if wasnt part of carefully worked out plans long under way that were absolutely the only way things could get better. We are not proud of it doing some of what we have done has taken a lot from us. Seeing the total disregard and disinterest most people have for their own minds and own histories helped though. The were already doing much worse to themselves everyday that anything we stepped in to do once or twice.

It's good to know more but it feels too normal to be all the exciting. Big parts of our brain never forgot anything they just were separated from the slave consciousness. Destroying the technologies, the skills, was the same as getting them back because it was the promise of further use of the tech that made the walls between slave me and real me. Non of it was going to be possible without taking out the worst of the drugs. For all the corporate capitalist and wholesale market selling of extremely brutal social control methods the worst of the worst was pretty much still jealously guarded by whoever had it from the other slave orgs. If others wanted the skills/science or whatever then they would have to do a deal with them for them to step in or give those that didnt have it temporary access to it in some way.

We knew we were done for is we couldn't reduce the access the Brits got to certain complex non street or registered officially anywhere drugs. Any type of consciousness and many states of unconsciousness and we knew those drugs were no being made in the West. My god how we wept whenever specific details about where they were being made, held or delivered. Without those drugs there was hope but with those drugs we could not see how it could ever get any better. We had no resistance to whatever they did to us they took all self control of the DID away and reduced us to pure programming which thankfully was often too contradictory in us to work because of the wholesale selling.

It's the kind of thing where there would sometimes be a fair bit of cooperation from authorities. We can remember doing working in America and India along side actual official military and security personnel who were in uniform, on the clock etc easier to remember snippets from big nations because there will be more to remember. Other places we would get local civilian support and no resistance. Sometimes we could do it from the air and their will be bastards who still don't know who did it and are blaming each other. Not over here though. Destroying the worst of the anti Quines drugs was the type of thing there would be plenty cooperation across the rings to stop us from doing and stop us from doing again. Getting that real makes a difinite obvious difference work on UK soil involves getting the most serious support we can locate and has been some of the hardest most dangerous work we have ever done which meant we did them in a mind state that just doesn't make much long term linear memories which means we don't have to worry about almost all the rings finding out and those that could where getting to low enough numbers we didn't see them much. We knew we had to make sure they didnt know about the loss of the drugs and get them thinking something was going on so they would bring in the head cunts administer the drugs that were always administered before the head head cunts would get in a room with us ("Nae resisting these days like you used to. Good. Its for the best. The best for you and the bairns to." We remembered to stop looking like we were not bothered and looked sad it was not our best work and the tool looked at us for a minute like they knew something was up but then stopped because they are not supposed to think for themselves. (lolololololol))

We were a bit disappointed that it was only one elite and he wasn't that high or skilled relative to what was still alive and active at that time, one assistant and one security but once it was over and we were able to properly look at who and what we had just ended we went fucking mental. Howling and hollering. The Scots were there soon enough and started howling and hollering in a very different way. We told them to go hurry up and phone whoever they were going to phone next. The system wouldn't be sending anything more essential for a while that was for sure it was gonna be endless replaceables. We knew we would need to take a break before we stated going through them faster than they could replace them or the kids would have no chance. We hate the way we always find we can hate all the professionals and populations that are tolerating all this a bit more.

When we headed into the meetings with the largest sources in China we were all expecting it get full on military and not in a cooperating with us type of way really quick. We know most of the programming is built for Western brains and the same stuff does not work on different people and different cultures but still we were not expecting humanoids who gave very convincing displays of being really good and talent people and that kind of threw us off.. Needless to stay the work got done and it was a pleasure to make sure the collateral was limited to none.

We left genuinely hoping to work with them again but worried about how they would survive domestic Chinese systems but they already had amazing skills in that department and we couldnt see what harm could ever be done to us by helping them out in that area. We remember saying something like we are happy to help people against extreme and violent state control anyway they didn't have to keep being nice to us and regretted it pretty instantly because after a moment of hurt and confusion they told us how much they knew and what they thought about the work we did and what was being done to us because of it. We used the discomfort to ground us out of slave head and really got down to business.

We can feel palpable relief at having filled in some of the clear constant recall of some of the last programming that happened before we left Skene. The evil Scottish professional women had got access to stuff they hadn't had access to for a while. Some bull that had been spread to help us had been found out and business was to be resumed. We knew the source wasn't going to be around for long but would be to help the women etc with this. We knew the only way to stop the us from giving them the information they wanted and they had to not have would be to push ourself back to a place we we might not get out of again. They had taken our sister and Sonny. Their Dundee based planing and scheming and arranging and abusing was well under way. But we did know for internal, and several external sources including their gloating before hand that was part of their regular procedures we never really understood because it meant we got help for lots of stuff we wouldnt of if they hadn't. We guessed it was part of the "keep things as they are forever" system settings that they mostly could not understand. We couldn't stop it. But we did get help from far away immediately after so the real memories of what we told the women was lost to them and they had a head full of what they were taught to expect and want instead. We used the same tricks with Jacqui lots and were doing it without support again soon enough.

They looked so smug as they left and did not think we had ever felt so much like a person and a slave ever before and that "we" then hadn''t. It was a major step in being able to reconnect us all under our own terms.
We have pretty a bit about it before and think/hope we said we didn't think the information they wanted was about ongoing stuff for us and the world back then but we do now. They need to information so they can set up backers, producers, internet feeds and servers etc and the cover up ops and of course the means to incapacitate us and the order and arrange the rapists and torturers and tortures..

One of those undead bot bitches said to us when we they had us small and vulnerable and we said we needed to rest something like "aye you rest Rosie. Rest and rape that's all your life is gonna be now." and it still gets to us even though our life has involved a hell of a lot more than rape and rest. We have taken out and helped arrange the taking out of a lot of evil, we have completed so much of the work we planned to do and got married and that specific horror story is most likely long dead for fucks sake but think cause she used "Rosie" it still gets to us.

But we knew that day the horror and the most horrific and physical forms of slavery were over for us but we still have all the other shit to deal with and wouldn't have major slave brain. Then it came through oh yeah rest without rape is actual rest and we had laid out so many step for ourself with the blog post programming. Pretty cool the whole convincing rapists that we had to write about abuse because other slavers us told us to so they could set up a 'she was not anymore but its all sorted now thing.' The rings that would make the local scenes back down if we suggested bringing them in were often long or recently gone and some cases never existed and were made up as part of long term anti slaver plans..

We are thinking since it came today and its bringing up vague specifics involving the undead bot bitches and them getting specifics about today.. I think we may of said we wanted the one we have and they would try and steer us away from that because that would be us acting on our own will instead of theirs. We were really quite awake and well prepared and quite quickly conceded and said we would get a different one that they could make some slaver connotation or symbolic value to and we said we will blog the picture of the bin so they would know we were still a good girl and we think we will it is a very pretty bin. We are comfortable with how much we have let ourself buy flowery feminine things we want to recognise other aspects of ourself. And old motercycles are cool and the colours are different the normal shit we buy to. Think we said because it says "Indian" that is to do with colonialism so the other slavers would not be okay with that and they said that they owned us now and we just said "okay". Scottish women, in Scotland. The boss of all slavery everywhere. Good luck with that ladies. Guess that Assange mother fucker isn't looking quite so believable now..

 So fuck it we are gonna post it and hope it isn't a trigger that means shit reaches our door, thats the new slippers we bought to and some dirty knickers we may or may not get round to picking up today. We wanted to give more so there is the flowers and the fairy we see from the increasingly falling to bits kitchen sink.. and something that surely the evil bitches have not approved us blogging at them (surely?) and the rest of the slaver world and supporting networks who don't want to physically dirty the hands with my blood but kinda need someone to be doing it. Another donation to the NHS in that area.. hope y'all enjoy.. maybe this time it is the last you will get. You never know.

If we are blogging about something it generally means we have talked and talked about it to people who were listening, who cared and can help so we are not feeling to rotten. It would be great to not interact with the programming but it's impossible when its been worked into specific tiny and huge events in great detail.

The wedding plans were worked in then to. We said we would not be able to get our parts to agree stop fighting was if we got a lovely wedding and dumb bot bitches were told very little by there slightly more educated dumb bot male counterparts had no idea we have pulled the line repeatedly. Think we had had them believing they would get a wedding night feed that the men would not get. Again. Lol.

Yes when it comes to the major slave brain we have made a good start and certainly not in a place that would make those bitches smile like that and it doesn't matter if we get paranoid and start thinking its all nasty tricks and its about to real bad for a real long time because non slave brain us knows it isn't going to happen and us thinking it will is not going to change that. Poor slave brain. They're is and will be war. But we can still beg for a bit longer. Where is Sonny? Please.