September 10, 2017

What the fuck is "TBA"?

Nah. There isn't just us pretending covering now we can feel the hate and the pain inflicted from that mostly Scottish police women and other professionals .. like therapists .. ring. A Satanic liberal supported scene, the slavery ending could work for them but only if it never known that it happened. Stopping public discussion on all this is way more important that stopping it. Unlike the Scottish men who boasted about this having gone of millions of years, the woman talked more about their friends, meaning other ring members, their relative privilege to myself and their rape and torture skills. They thought they were smarter than the men of course because the men are just so complacent but they still had trouble seeing us and had would ask us to tell them what was real and what wasn't. We found it hard not to pity them and their pathetic Scottish Independence built on Quine slavery plan which they were going to do by getting me to take out the men and then tie us up again. It's laughable and we did laugh in their faces about it when we could, the idea they could keep me a slave and yet still use me to take out the entire British Establishment. Impressive levels of ignorance. The only reason I am a slave is because of the British Establishment you stupid cows and "I take it they havent told you the Scottish Independence vote is as rigged and arranged as Trump getting the American Presidency and Brexit". The pair of them looked surprised then confused. We were so fucking glad they hadn't brought the other one with them, we had probably told them we would be too traumatised to speak if they brought her along and it was true.

 "What the fuck's Brexit?". We explained and I think they gave us some verbal and some promises of torture and rape of a child in front of us and then left to go get advice from other rings and handlers. We were relieved when the verbal started because it meant they weren't going to try and touch us. There was other weird feelings to, they were obviously trying to programme us to feel relief when being verbally abused. We noticed it, came back to ourself and showed our disgust. They left shaking their heads and muttering about us. We knew they were gonna try isolate our littles and make them feel responsible for what they were or were going to do to children we knew and cared about. We had to not let them do that. We could not keep the children safe but we could maybe help our littles and we could focus on that because it wasn't hopeless like trying to protect children that arn't parts of me.

They said week or months later there plan now was just to kill us and or Pabs. We wished them luck and they have certainly tried and ruined more than we could number here by their efforts to get us but know to firmly that none of this shit will stop for anyone ever and definitely not us if we give in their demands.  There is still male mostly rings hoping for an Independent Satanic Scotland. They had been working the women behind their back easily because the women were blind to how universal the burning misogyny is and how the men just by being men would of be getting all kinds of information that they were not sharing with the women who they believed needed to start accepting their place a bit better. Not sure if they came back to Skene once we got the women to stop visiting. I know they would of though but I think I might of be able to fight them off because the major Scottish trigger to make us vulnerable no longer worked. They are not as powerful if there is the bottom someone presses if we dont switch isn't connected to nothing.

We knew we would be fighting English, Americans and the right wing, slavers and abusers from everywhere for a long time as well as the Scots who wouldn't be able to convince as well as they used to they had everything under control. It's just the way things are here, its been accepted for so long few people ever believed it could ever end. We had ingrained in ourself that ending it was exactly what we were for but it would all be pointless if we killed ourself in process. Wish I didn't feel so amnesiac about the future but the Scots were always very good at keeping their most powerful secrets to themselves, their Satanisms so seem to be unique in that it never ended, no stops and starts just a little bit less or a lot more. Goodness the blokes that didn't know were not happy when they found out that there had not been three of us from a long time and now there was definitely only one and they couldn't get to the kids. The women knew very little about the male only Masons and how seriously the commitment to bizarre and horrible beliefs was taken. Sisters had committed all kinds of sacrilege with the shit they had been up to and their efforts to usurp the Scottish male masons. In the hospital when they were all gathering and everyone trying to find out from everyone else what was going on a male asked one of the women in front of us in the ward with us sitting on the bed why he hadn't been told they had lost two out of three and saw her try and bullshit her way out of it unscripted and unsupported. Seeing the way he looked at her, the way they all looked at me, knowing he would never trust her again and what that meant in terms of the effectiveness Scottish abuse and slave networks felt almost like a privilege and we almost felt like a privilege but we knew that was just our ever present slave mentality that feels like not being starved, poisoned of force fed and being allowed sleep at night alone is a massive privilege.

She started with the verbal after he left but we just scoffed the only power she given to them by the men and she had lost it and knew. She started on about how I was still fucked though, that they would get the work of three out of me but we just told her to listen. After the sound of the shots she started panicking and screaming and speaking horror languages I think we had to get of the bed to shut her up it was really disturbing. Then we just on the bed looking at her and crying a little in relief and at the recall of all the years of horror and torture sessions involving her. We could literally feel its hold on our mind lifting as we sat there and watched her go cold. Our friend who fired the shot came in and we said we were sorry she was making a noise he smiled and sat next to us. We held each other and cried softly for a while waiting for whatever was going to happen next to happen. We needed proper far away support for the next bit and were struggling to believe it would come but had no regrets. The help came as planned though. And some.

What are they waiting for now? I don't know but it is difficult when I don't that strong sense of a plan I need to stick to. Well I do its just the plan is do as little as possible and be less and less phobic of what has been done to me and what is currently ongoing. And be as comfortable as possible all the time. This is not like our usual plans and that is scaring us to. Friends are getting closer though and we are closer to us to.