March 23, 2017

Good girls.

Still irritable and a bit tearful. But that's okay. There was big Kinder Eggs in the Co op that were bought and haven't made it to Easter. A My Little Pony one for him and A Transformer one for us. He has ran off the little Transformer. Think we will have a look on Amazon. Maybe if we invest in "boy's toys" it will help us get past a "not allowed" that always crush us. Even if it's something we don't particularly want. The whole thing about people having that level of power over me is so permanently horrible. Well you get it. It's a big part of why we had to keep you so far away so much. It just wasn't possible for any of us to survive it if all of us knew nothing else.

We have the doubts of course but we are not reacting to them much. Doubt is like worry it just means that something hurts more than it needs to. Having you and Louise as part of our constant daily consciousness feels to grounding to be bull. Feels to everything. All we can ever do when the time between contact is soo long is wait and see what our brain brings us tomorrow. Feels real. Feels soon.