April 06, 2017

3

She looked up at us and said something and smiled. The drugs were kicking in hard and it slurred her speech so it took us a moment or two to figure out what she said then realise what she was asking for.
"Go on. Said it." We were so relieved when we knew what she was asking for and that it wouldn't be a problem to supply. "You'll never be raped again. You'll be here with me forever with me." She closed her eyes and the smile deepened over her. "And Louise." She added. We nodded and tried to smile but she could feel our world collapsing in on itself and said she was sorry. We said it was fine and repeated "And Louise" for her trying desperately to let parts that wanted to crumble or that wanted to articulate a sense of this being too much, focused on anything but that sense of our world ending.

We had to leave her there for a while. Certain people needed to know and the only for them to know was to see first hand. There would be more flogging of that horse. Some of them commented on her smile. Some of them were very horrible people who make us go blind and deaf with rage whenever they walk in the room. Especially a room with dead Julia in it.

We thought the threats and promises of consequences would get to us more than they did but they just made us feel all the more right and relieved she was out of all this.

"What are the Russian's going to say about this?" The guy only knew the Russian rungs were at the top of it all because we had told him. We told him if he told the Russians we would say they did it and he believed us because he had never had any contact with any Russians of any kind. Not that he knew of anyway. There wasn't really many people or even utter scum bags demanding for the Russians to get involved at that time. We knew course that the Russians were pretty busy and that much of what the feared or thought they feared wasn't anything to do with Satanic Russians. Not directly anyway. It was us that the SRs had the power over but convincing people otherwise became some of the best and most fun work the three of us did together. We all had learned a lot about the methods they used it was easy and quite cathartic to be turning them back on them.

It was your European and American fascists that had the interest in controlling them the Russian rings and their investors just needed stuff to happen they didn't care who did it. There was stuff set up before to make certain people feel convinced she was still alive and no way put up any resistance to being run. Not in any way we couldn't manage anyway due to the fact we had been we dealing with these horror stories for decades while they just dealt with other thugs at their level and poor fucks below.

Some of it was handed to us. Gift like. Their was some major failures in communication. It was because of the English based systems hiding their own RA, trafficking, CSA etc It meant that the Russians who were to keep an eye on us here had no idea how abuse we got that they didn't organise. The English were trying to take it over using us. Aspects of the British rings of course who did not have much personal knowledge or experience of anything beyond their own areas..

Sometimes it was easy for us to be fooling everyone we needed to fool and the three of us could be together be ourselves and be safe but it usually took all lot of peoples help. Usually when we were together we had to be pretending our forcing dissociative states on ourselves so to try and make them think we were to ill to know what was going on so it didn't matter that we were together.

After she had the bay and was off the ward we began to feel a little stronger and there was a moment that saw many of us couldn't not notice that it remained vivid throughout the swirling ridiculous of the months that followed. We had been gathered. In a way that took us back to pregnancies and restraints in the ninities, a militant prepubescent before that and all the mini watchers and thinkers before. We were not standing with them, the hospital staff and a few others. We knew if we had kept looking at them all standing their waiting we would remember more about this particular ring or cell or whatever and we looked until we were confident that would happen and then looked away. Even though they had us locked on that ward and we had lost another sister the sense that so make had changed for the better. We were not little and terrified. They looked little and silly and lost.

We all waiting to be talked to basically. To be given instructions, decisions we were all were to pretend to make, personal, work and social lives all worked out for everyone to advance other peoples interests. They often make you wait but this was very different for any time in the past for us. We knew they would be short on instructions and people to give them, that the layers were full off holes and the functioned by knowing everything well in advance and stopping anything they can't control from developing. They were not expecting this and none of them would be feeling too confident about getting in a room with us.

There was a bit of "banter" one of the blokes seriously seemed to think it was the nineties by the verbal and the gloating about child abuse and slavery that he was giving us. If we had just been raped or were about to be it gets to you a lot more. It was the group that shut him up. The less completely blind ones were looking at the way were leaning there quite relaxed. Something Russian was mentioned and we told them then that their biggest problem wasn't the Russians and it was the British and American's anyway. I might be able to get myself out from under the BBC but where they ever going to get off Scotlands back? Has there been any real changes in the nature of the organised crime networks in this country as far as they were concerned? So we did all that for nothing. Yup fuck you.  Think we might of mentioned Trump at this point just to see what their thoughts were about his upcoming presidency but they were all too busy focused on their "show no emotion" training or attempted to groom us with badly acted shock and horror. That bugged us a little.

Indeed he was quite stressed and pale and sweaty and smelly when he blustered in. CID we presumed he might of said we didn't hear. Think we did laugh a little at the state of him. Did he try to get friendly? Something like "Aye you laugh at me Quine." Which was met with something like "Fuck off". The next seconds were delicious we felt the little group all tighten up ready for what their flesh and delusional brains was telling them was about to happen next and it didn't happen. All those bodily fluids generated for nothing. He averted his eyes and shook a bit. Did his best to not mumble the "as you as were" instructions to the people and pretty much ran out of there.

Some of them tried to act like they were glad for us, that we were not literally under him and all them at that moment but we were not buying it. For me to not be punished for that goes against everything they need to be true to justify and explain everything that they are. It couldn't of been pleasant. Good for us though.

If we ever could of convinced the Brits to turn on their Russian masters things would of gone very differently. But it was a brick wall. It didn't happen, none of it and if it did it was because they were taking money and favours for sexual abuse in a system that was protected by the Russian mobs so they weren't going to turn.

We hated that it was impossible to do all the normals things you do when someone dies. But we think that because we knew it was going to happen and they forced us to accept it to deal with it we made sure they had somewhere to be together and hold hands. Couldn't of placed her there together with her twin without the help of our bro. Thank you.




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