April 11, 2017

"You said I wasn't to contact you."

Kitchen is getting pretty bad. Went into town today though, not for long but it got the lad out the house. We are not any less triggered or heartbroken by the area we are in. If anything it's worse.

Bro has been on our mind a bit today. The whole thing were he like everyone else was talking to people who weren't us and who stuck very tight to the script and didn't believe any of us on the rare times any of us got any where near him. The best we could get was for him to believe none of it. Its a bloody effective way to permanently destroy relationships that is to force you to listen to abusers and their projects convince someone you love that they are you and slowly convince them you are everything you are not over decades.  Think they had him phone us in hospital so they could listen and see what they could find out and the usual messing with our head and emotions.

We had to go see him back when the three of us were together and conscious in Dundee can't remember why. To help him with something they had planned for him and/or beg for help but we ended up just getting angry. We got him to look around where he was living then phoned the girls and got them to show the flat and give a few details about their life then we asked after everything he had seen and heard who did it look like was doing the most favours for rich evil people, who was the useful idiot?

The one with the successful career, the one with the nice home full of nice things and nice food, the middle class one that has a vested interest in not rocking this boat that's who.

Saw it in my sisters eyes to, they use him and people like him to launder the money from our slavery, they use people like him to make out like everything is ok to launder the culture to and just like it is supposed to it kills us.

No none of said before you shouldn't contact us. We said it would be really difficult because of the abusers and surveillance but we needed you besides if you don't contact us you won't know us and you start believing any old satanic crap your told about us. No we did not tell you to not contact us but I am saying it now. Your only calling because you have been told to and we told those people were not trying to help us and you still don't believe me or care enough to do anything about it. It's horrific for us to talk to you knowing who told you to do it and who is listening in so we won't be talking to you again. I know we have said this before but we mean it this time..

Or something like that. It was so horrible but people we care about being used as weapons against us is such  a standard technique and so effective we have to do everything we can to protect ourself from it and that means telling people we don't want to see or here from them ever which is also pretty satisfying for the traffickers. They don't need to control a relationship that has ended.