April 29, 2017

resistance is fertile

The buddleia is almost definitely going to arrive before the tools we need to put them in the ground but that's okay we can stick them in a trough planter till they arrive.. and we have done the work... :-/ .. They we will be earning and needing out Epson Salts baths as we have pretty much committed to racking up chuckies, taking out whatever tarp is left and breaking the ground up on the bottom patch.. :-/ .. as always.. help would be greatly appreciated.. Ordered a couple of ferns..and I think we are going to be able to bite the bullet and pick a spot for Gracies tree so it isn't waving about in the centre of everything in one of the boring troughs that are a nightmare for bloody cat poop, shouting 'Hi I'm Gracies & her mum's tree, you weren't much use there were you but I'm thriving.' ..

It's bloody freezin today so we are indoors in bed guilt free. Dude has just finished the korok trials he had to take a food break but he did manage to do them in one sitting with only a fair bit of howling and demanding I side with him against the game over accusations of cheating.

Kinda different aren't they.. the spring bank holidays in Scotland.. to what they once were. Early money, meant we could order a digging fork and a rake to replace the one the gadgee gardeners nicked twice but only returned once. Pricks. Along with the two ferns, some yellow paint for the old cheap metal table, a new lining for the fancy hanging basket, then we were reminded by sir that our previous attempts to order a board game that failed so had to order it again, that was a bit wincy but it will be worth it we are getting into our time together again.

We tweeted a screen shot of previous orders that are arriving today and gave us another good reason for guilt free indoorness. A painted birdhouse, the fairy, the solar light dog and a new planter. All pretty. The whole thing with cast iron feminine things like fairies and butterflies.. we like.. The balcony trough is ace. Comes with fittings attached so its dead to easy to hang from the fence, has a bit underneath for water, comes in bright colours, £12ish. Fabby. Need moar.. It came at the same time as the compost and was filled with the hopefully weathered trailing plug plants of two different colours.. Put one in the flying pig to hope if grows, there is a pansy in the owl and its done bugger all while the rest are all happy.. Would look very cool..

Triggers relating to getting a weeping ornamental cherry for the big grey planter have been irksome. We think we probably will, it's a something we like and would appreciate no matter where we were but there is so much amnesia and horrible feelings around it. We have given ourself enough work physically and trigger wise with the buddleia for now anyway. It's not just the tree its the planter to and having three all full of weeds and yes you guessed it cat shit isn't helpful. There is a purple petunia that could go in it but we are worried that even if ended up looking glorious it would still be sad because it might not be what we wanted and we don't get what we want coz of all the bad people and that's why we are here alone.

We are going to have to fucking buy it arn't. We were thinking we would defo get it by next spring anyway if we are still here. We will need it then if we are still here alone maybe we are far enough out of the worst of fall out.. Butterfly bush hopeful privacy first. Need to say a thank you to Margo of course for being such a big part of why we had any kind out side legal plant growing inspiration and awareness even if we not comfortable with all the sense that we couldn't do half this if she was going to spending time in it and the confusion and violence over why that is.

Back to nicer healing things, resistance is fertile after all. Left the seedlings out last night. There are going to miss a lot of day light with us taking them in and they look fine. So good to have something to keep us off our butt and feeling positive about another summer here. There will be tears about it not being appreciated by anyone else and surveillance angles don't bloody count all though it must be either reassuring or deeply worrying seeing obvious outside indications that we are getting our shit together. There will be even more tears probably if anyone else does appreciate in person, with us there unless its some military bs or drasticness then we will just be pissed off and professional.

We cried last year coz we could see things we wanted to do that would make so much difference but we couldn't physically or mentally do alone because it is just the same with everything here and always has been. We think we can give it a go this year though because of the good people we saw in the hospital and the information that is getting out. We saw our sisters, our Dad, spoke to our mum and our brother found out who we lost our virginity when was very grounding.. People found out stuff that have needed them know for thirty fucking years. No wonder we are gushing over seedlings, pug plants and cast iron fairies and garden bloody gnomes..