May 19, 2016

I don't want to go back to Elton John's

But he never wanted any child staying there. You could see it in his eyes when took orders and when he drove afterwards. We saw him trying to shift that look before he talked to any kid but we felt he tried even harder for us and Louise.

"Try and write as much as you can."

Not because they needed the information about where our head is as at although they do but because they knew we were very close when we were little and we have no other way to process this.

"Once you get past this next year ..  and I know you have heard this your whole life.. I know you both heard this.." He was trying reach us and wasn't completely failing.

Incubus when brought in to see her and sat with us and Louise for a while. We were told to sing and started trying to sing "Wish you were here" but no one manage more than a line or a two a most without breaking.

Except Ian Watkins he sang it astoundingly.  Like we have always said. He's the male Louise.

We could see and feel and hear everyone breaking as they were brought in or found out. Lower level sick fucks put their hands in the air and showed their commitment to evil bullshit by blaming us and many were dead before they hit the street. We woke up and moved off for a bit. Slow motion. It was a good thing we were already exhausted or we wouldn't of stopped we caught some program of mothers saying but we knew that of course if we hadn't been so exhausted she would still be alive.

Just the two of us out in the hills and the Glens in the moonlight. Realising we were out of evil fucker eye range. That there was no hurry. That it wasnt to cold and we had supplies. And it was just us (And the guys telling us were safe and that it was just us).

The best.

"Please. Please. If you can. You have to write that I can't get to Jon Stewart to tell him (words referring to Louise's death that wasn't heard buy us all we had the parts that we had to keep out of this busy)..and how impossible it's been for anyone of you to tell him any fucking thing about either you or Louise or anything else the whole fucking time.."

We pulled ourself back to the present time and place as best we could. It wasn't pretty we were standing in a street in Dundee on a phone with a bunch of goons we didnt like the look of nearby. Gunfire, corpses and people running around, screaming and shouting and Louise had just died.

"Ok you rat faced fucker we will see what we can do."

 He sounded relieved.

We got of the phone shortly after that and seeing it wasnt ours handed it back to the goons before dispatching all but one of the goons and watched him run off so he could tell whatever fascist tolerant crew he was from what had happened but he didnt make it. Some local prick took him out.. then I think something else took him out..and someone walked up and said something.