That of course is exactly what they want you to think. Money is hegemony and if its been decided you won't get paid because you can't be trusted to just give it back to them then you won't get any.
Its simple when your little survival and love and the answer to all the questions sooner or later. We wanted it to mean the same to us. So they make sure we don't get any love by keeping us isolated from people they don't or can't control and keeping us alienated from ourself, our identity and history. And it just hurts all the time and our head is full of people doing things that are horrible and unbelievable.
Bringing the truth to people is a dream that's hard to sustain after puberty. Another distraction used to stop you from focusing on own safety. Being left alone became the top priority. Then hopefully we can heal enough to figure out what to do next to end the isolation. What good are "things in the pipeline" for Pabs? What good are they to everyone else going without and dying without because of decisions made by people who could easily be locked up if authorities were not equally violent and corrupt.
We continued our mothers work. We thought we did really well. We have. We knew we did enough but it wouldnt look like it for a long time and we wouldn't feel like it or see any sign of it. But that was back then. What next are we going to have to try and process alone.
When we came up with plan so you wouldn't have feel that trapped can't get out any way feeling and as a way for us to try and accept the possibility that you would die one day you said "both" didn't you?
We weren't sure how that would work..
But we liked it.