May 19, 2016

did anyone tell Metallica?

We didn't feel like we needed any help with the sessions with Jacqui after when she started talking about Louise being dead and wanting us to talk about it. We laughed at her. We were fucking glad in many ways and old her so that she was trying to trigger us and her and others we asking questions we had no intention of hearing never mind actually fucking answering because they pushed it all that bit further back when we couldn't of alone.

We were family to each other at times no one else could find us. She was my mother and my sister and my best friend. We hope it wasn't a slaver that got to Margo first in our mind we managed to get someone friendly there and to tell her straight away because they wouldnt be able to stay for long and to not abadon her straight after. We saw him and he was visabley shaken at how physically devastated Margo was when he showed her shots of me with Louise. Finally. It had clicked with him. If he hadnt been the person who had wouldnt of done any comforting any possibly would of raped her straight after showing her. Or during even.

We weren't up for looking her in worse after. We know we told her to put something down with the lawyer is she felt up to it. Just for herself. Her life her words. Dont know if she did or not. On top of everything else they had took Laura and now Louise and that left her with Lynne .. and I didnt want see that in her. There was no doubt she was dying now. And the thought of Lynne, Bill, Deek and Nathan her brother Bill and her mum and the state the kids are in were her the last experiences of family something she did genuinely value, certainly compared to those 'adults' was making us physically sick to.

What the fuck could we giver her?