May 03, 2016

Rose

She was like us I think. Born into it. Worked and conditioned and tortured and bred from. Experimented on. Theres stuff we have they want. Genes they needed to feel were contained and understood working with and against others that at push and struggle by some elements for more for immediate money and power through slavery of talented by the less able. The footage. Of our Dad picking us up. A guy getting us to say what it was he picked us out of "My Mummy's poop...Is that why he called me Rose?" When we saw the reaction that got we repeated it. It was a good way of knowing who I was talking to. If they couldnt help but smile or if it infuriated them.

It sounds a lot like something my Dad would make up to be honest. But that doesnt mean it isnt true. Its so like what we were around. Fatal rapes, people hacked apart alive, babies born to know nothing else, lifes of domestic and commercial violence arranged, filming. Telling you what is going to happen over and over, arranging your life and telling the events they arrange prove your on a track that they control and will lead to a horrible death. But that's exactly it, like its too obvious..

They would of shown her the hell that was being arranged for me, they do that but it meant her programming was triggered sometimes to.. someone would start talking to me and say they were my mum and it wasnt like when people pretended.. The stuff they would say would be extremely useful. We figured our Dad and other people must of been involved.. He didnt want us to look to closely and we respected that when we were little.

What we found out when we were older doesnt feel a million miles away as it did with contact with the family we were dumped into over here is regular. We found it so hard to figure out where the fear of Margo or whatever it was that stopped us from feeling we could even think like who we are around her. Now we would say Jacqui has something to do with that.. as well everything else of course.

Keeping us in that mental and emotional agony and physical  lack of safety was in lots of groups interests and always will be. But it is in peoples interests that we can be ourself and we could get some to recognise that. The only thing that talks louder than hegemony is money. Or at least that was the theory for a while..Wait and see.. darg!! ..

Its a fear that is in escapable. These people are telling me I'm someone I'm not, their family member. When I'm not here they do it with someone else. GPs recording different heights for decades.. But files are easy messed with.

Revolting.