May 13, 2016

The Smiley Faced Killer

Friday. Thankfully. I wont be horrible to Pabs tomorrow morning or the day after because when we first wake up its always bad.

We remember seeing Mum when he had just started transitioning, we ran up and hugged her and then remembered what tender boobs feel like.. We were glad we could talk about some of us could talk about being a bit sad because our Mum wasnt a bloke any more and we loved having a Mum who was a bloke. Whats more important to all of us is if and when we can be in contact with her again. We cant remember what they said about that but we knew most of them involved were not our friends. They were able to keep my Mum safe, give him surgery and have us flown over when we couldnt leave the flat most days, the attacks we so constant and had to not know where Pabs was a lot to keep him alive. Obvious as fuck without being able to find out the specifics that their motives were not humanitarian and were protecting the slavery. The surgeon was alive and awake enough to spot he was being lied to and he hoovered next to us when no one else was close. We told him to run. This was his only chance. He did. Dont know if hes still alive but good luck to him.

Obviously we dont have the specifics about where we got what we needed or where we assembled it but we remember we had all the health safety gear that's preferable when you are assembling something like that. We got a lot people out of mothers programs and compounds, smashed a lot of rape rings and given a lot people information they needed but no one else would give them, there are people willing to help with anything. We were very professional, very clean, very focused. Until we put the device in place and everything relaxed a bit, brain back in touch with itself now that the job was complete. It's the "you dont exist" thing plus our pride and our refusal to abide by existing rules because they are going to keep everything evil and us a slave for ever if nothing changes, we find it really hard to not leave calling cards. It was us, you know it was us and yeah we know you will blame and destroy some other fucker no doubt but we know we told you who it was. So we ripped of a glove and drew a smiley face in finger grease on the outside of it.

We thought it had been a while since we used that one but weren't sure.

A dude of ours was driving me and mum away from the place was watching us watch the feed.

"I know that look" he said when we had stopped somewhere and Mum had gone for snacks or to try and pee or something.

 "Their all dead" We said looking at the deserty landscape. Then we looked him in the eye we needed to know his immediate emotional reaction,

 "I gassed them".

His pupils expanded, his body language loosened, he smiled, he was obviously greatly relieved. His Quine, the Rosie he knew when she was a child is still in here. We were nervous about telling Mum but he insisted and we shouldn't of been worried but they keep us apart so much we get not sure of her. She was also greatly relieved as they were going to hand over everything and then the best thing that would of happened after that would be them killing us all.

We've been taking the gabapentin as prescribed. Think we might of missed a dose yesterday but not necessarily, we've had the dizzy sick dissociating type feelings that the withdrawal can bring. They've put kids and adults on Gabapentin without them knowing just because of the withdrawal effects particularly on people with DID. We remember being with Sasha in the flat trying to help her breathe through it when she was five or six, her mum was there loving Sasha's terror and getting well pissed at us helping her.

When we told our people that May 2016 was going to come and pass and we were going to left still contactless while our Dad is maybe dead and maybe not and our whole past starts unwrapping when we are still sole carer for a child we arnt fit to care for alone, that all the powers that be or might be are sticking with the fascist programs and not acting on our non violent plans for anything it was decided we will have to do something and we were old enough and awake enough to be less strict on our "no collateral" approach. They agreed.

People will be being slaughter and starved if we do nothing any way and we are not prepared to accept this life for me and mine for the rest of our lives after everything. There is not enough respect for us and our non violent ways amongst rich and powerful people who were all given Mother and her sick assed associates stamp of approval. Funny that.

We gave up on our money, being credited with our creative slave work, any "real" public truth exposure of anything before we started ovulating without the added hormones. We asked for a home not in the UK for just me and Pabs and we meant it.