May 27, 2016

You tore us apart with all things you wont know.

That nasty come down or recently traumatised messed up brain chemistry feelings wont shift. Trying not to think of Trevor Noah. And the phone call instructing us not to tell him who Pablo River Stuart was. When he asked on some video call via equipment that wasn't ours we felt the same as we did when the other prick told us what to do only stronger, how the hell were we talking to him if he didnt know who PRS is?

 We told him that, we were freaking and we saw him look of cam to someone for advice on what to say next we said "Cut" and shut it down. The device "vanished". We know the deal when our memories are chopped up and the blank patches are very blank - we are being kept unconscious lots, and the DID seriously worked along side the women pretending to be us. Very poorly.

Was the same when someone said our grandad was dead. Like we were immediately going to try and contact him to find out if it was true?? Still though it was years before that set of us could see him and know he definitely wasn't, a year ago.

Elaine is the door way of her disgusting living room holding cut up lemons and looking very pleased with herself. There's lots of laughter. Think it's me, Sash and one of my teenage daughters on the floor but getting incidents mixed up is really easy. We thought a lot about how much scarier all this would be if we didn't know where it all came from. If we hadnt been in caged in the same spaces where everything they were doing now had been done to them, hadnt known they had been doing these exact same things since they were kids just as instructed, if we hadnt overheard or been forced to assist in surgeries where they cooperated fully with the surgeons it would be a lot less survivable. Some of us thought that we wouldnt survive if we weren't being gang raped and tortured next to people we loved but never get to see. The rest of us knew thats how they keep hard core porn subjects alive.

The look on Jacqui's face when we told her we were giving info about the compounds and the programming to other victims to undermine the power of it all. Priceless.















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