May 03, 2016

Love from Becky.

Again with evils of Gabapentin withdrawal. That feeling of total disconnect with everything and everyone. Felt like we had just woke up, sitting on the toilet in a strange bathroom in a strange place with no memory of what came before and sense of any future. Then we threw up. Phoned the chemist and found out the pills were waiting for us and bitched about evil drug companies on twitter. We can only remember two main responses when people have asked us about drug company involvement or what we knew, one is our face screwing its up like a crumpled tissue the other is the words "be afraid. very afraid". Pretty confident we have better relations with companies that design and sell anti personnel devices to individuals, organisations and states who dont work with us.

The weed guy was contacted. Of course he was. We suffer with out it and there is money there. Obviously not for long though if we are literally burning £20 a day.  Cunts. Like we are not aware of the scale of the theft from us. Always. They dont need to go to half the effort they go to remind us we dont forget that are rapists are buying blood diamonds and and building up fascists with money they made from being slavers while we and us in a wide a sense as possible are starved. We know the triggers are meant for us. They are meant for you.

I hate them all Daddy.  Finding out what was done to people doesnt always explain what they become or make you feel better about they do to you. It meant so much to us when we could tell you as much as we could and ask your permission to tell mum because we thought it might be possible you might know something that meant you didnt want us to talk about it. You made us promise to never ask your permission again. That we should never be scared of anyone because of who or what they are and we must never not ask or not take help for people because of who they were. We were so scared but we were encourage to say what we were really trying to say, that it might mean we would get help against our black abusers from the KKK.  You didnt give a fuck and made us laugh I think.

Of course the KKK werent all victims of RA that were being totally forced into everything. They were insane utterly useless. Glad we found out for sure though so when cunts said we should go to the KKK for help we knew it was bullshit and didnt have any paranoia that our fear of offending nonabuser black people was why we were a slave.. Obviously it sounds ridiculous but when your a tiny kid who is being hit with all kind of horrific conditioning your thinking gets irrational from time to time.

Do we think all of our main remaining abusers will continue to be protected as they have been as the evidence spreads and takes out the fictions, hell no. 

Maybe we should expect some kind of contact soon? (hey there tech. dep. of Slavers inc.)